Middle Rageously

I Quit!

2009-12-20T08:40:00.003-05:00

I've gotten extremely busy as of the last few months and can't find the time to write this blog when I know I should be doing other things. Plus, I'm almost officially on the waitlist for my adoption and I want to write more on that blog since I am using it to create a book for little Baby I. I can't do all of these things so I've decided to give this blog up.

If you want to keep up with me you can catch me at my adoption blog. I'm sure once things settle down I'll come up with a new blog maybe something with a title like: Design School Dropout, Noncommittal, Procrastination Diaries, or This Lazy House. I don't know but I'm sure I'll be back with a better plan this time. Until then I'm just going to read my favorite blogs and write on my other blog.

Thanks for following for the short time I did this. You guys rock!

Peace Out!

Tami

Note To Self

2009-11-29T19:20:00.003-05:00

The camera does add 10 (or 20 pounds).

Get ye to the gym AND fast!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T04:29:00.003-05:00

I'm on my way to Myrtle Beach for the weekend so no post tonight. I plan on eating a lot and paying for it next week at the gym. A male friend of mine asked me if I was cooking a turkey I said no, I've never cooked one, don't know how and really have no desire to learn. Maybe one day but right now Mommy's turkey works and if I find a need to cook a turkey I prepare Cornish hen or a whole chicken. Poultry is poultry right?

I will try to post once while gone but my mother doesn't have Internet (who doesn't have Internet these days?). Maybe I can "borrow" from a neighbor.

Until then...

Eat

Drink

and be Thankful!

Ben, the two of us love no more...

2009-11-24T22:08:00.007-05:00

Dear Ben-

It was Michael Jackson who said: "With a friend to call my own I'll never be alone and you my friend will see you got a friend in me.

I didn't say it, perhaps you are a bit confused.

Poor Ben, you feel you're always running here and there and not wanted anywhere.

You are right! No one wants you around.

You certainly aren't wanted in my house.

Get to steppin'. You tried to visit this summer...

...I locked your beady eyes out. Because I heard you are a bad house guest, this small deterrent was quickly replaced by a much larger one (a piece of heavy cement) because I really don't like the things I've heard about you.

I thought you got the hint...but noooo...I heard you begging and pleading to visit this week.

Oh, Ben! What am I going to do with you?

NOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T LIVE OR VISIT HERE!

You don't want to pay the mortgage, utilities or even food! You just want to eat me out of house and home and then claim squatters rights to get me out of my home.

NOOOO!

GTFO!

I'm calling the Rat Patrol on you because you gots to get the H$#@ up outta here even before you get here!

Oh, in case you wanted a place to go Michael misses you. I'm going to arrange for you (and your family) to visit him because that's just the type of giving person I am.

Me, Natalie and AARP

2009-11-23T22:41:00.006-05:00

I went to the doctor's office today and while waiting I saw a magazine with a pretty black woman on the cover. Ooohhh, Natalie Cole. I wanted to read the article but the magazine was AARP The Magazine. I immediately thought, do you really want to read this? You don't want someone to think you are interested in other items in the magazine, like the adult diapers, or heaven forbid they think you qualify as old enough to read AARP (sorry Mom).

So, what did I do?

I looked around to make sure no one was watching me (or the magazine), picked it up, folded the cover back (so you couldn't see AARP) and got my read on.

Can I Get a Do Over?

2009-11-20T07:47:00.005-05:00

Tell me all of this gets better.

I’ve been absent because I’m trying to figure out WTH I’m going to do with my life. Unfortunately I keep thinking: “can I get a do over?”

So, since I can’t get a do-over. I’m learning how to deal with it all. This is it! or is that, This is it?

Dang, life has humbled me the past two years but I’m still here. I can't get a do-over so I'm trying to figure out how to do-now.

Let's see what I come up with.

Yes, the blog is bright red now. I'm so bored with the templates available that I decided to be in your face...how I want to live my life now.

One More Time

2009-11-16T09:16:00.003-05:00

Ok...

I didn't get a whole lotta feedback, I'm sure I lost readers from my many hiatuses c'est la vie.

I'm gonna give it one mo' try since I do adore writing and it is such an outlet for me. I'm going to do some things differently and shake it up a little more. I'll let you know my plan in a few days and then get started. The only thing I ask of you is give me more feedback and tell me if you are reading, and what you want more of...then share with your friends!

See you in a few days. I have to go shake some more thoughts and ideas out of this big ole head!

A Question

2009-11-13T10:29:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking about stopping the blog.

I'm not sure if people are reading anymore since I've been negligent.

If I don't stop what ideas do you have for posts so I can keep it daily (during the week) or at least more than once a week.

I have so much on my plate that if this is wasted I might as well save the energy now.

What does ye think?

My Deal of the Century

2009-11-04T14:24:00.008-05:00

I wasn't sure if I was going to post about my huge bargains but, why the heck not.

So, what had happened was... (Some of you may get this and others may not)

I put my stove on freecycle because it had a gas leak. I decided not to get it fixed eventhough I loved the vintage look, I wanted something different. Once I posted my stove a really nice woman emailed me and said she just bought a house with appliances she didn't want and I was welcomed to them. Since I love a bargain (and rule #1 in my bargain handbook is: be prepared for a bargain at anytime) I said absolutely I'll come look. Also, I knew the appliances had to be nice due to the location of the home. So, I get there and what did I see? A 36" Viking Professional stove, a 48" Sub Zero refrigerator and a 8' granite counter top! I almost fell over with joy! That is an understatement. I was trying to play it cool though I'm not sure it worked. I just needed to figure out how to get the items home.

After much drama, I am proud to report that my items are HOME! I have a beautiful Viking gas stove that goes for $6,000 new and a gorgeous granite counter top with stainless sink that would go for at least $2,000. I left the refrigerator; it was just too much drama to move because of the size and age along with the ventilation system. Since I don't have to buy a stove or counter top for my kitchen remodel, I'll buy my own fancy shmancy refrigerator along with the ventilation system (I gave the old oven hood away because it looked like it could swallow my baby. It was too massive and scared me. I want something a little newer and more streamlined. Heck, maybe someone else will give me a new refrigerator or oven hood; you never know when it comes to my deals! Even if I have to purchase them I've saved at least $8,000 in kitchen items right now.

Me singing: OH HAPPY DAY!

My beautiful stove.

The ginormous refrigerator I left.

The back of my very heavy and gorgeous countertop.

The color of the granite is sitting on top.

Well...my job is done now. I'm going to admire (and clean my Viking).

What is your best deal?

Lady in Red

2009-11-03T23:39:00.005-05:00

Sitting here late Tuesday night, going through my insane number of blogs, I visited the Sartorialist blog. I often forget about the blog, because it won't come up on my blog reader, unless someone mentions it. (Thanks Tam) I love looking at all the cool pictures, of real people in real fashion.

So, everything was going along just fine, at 11:30pm, until I came across this picture of a beautiful Rageous Woman.

I love that she is strutting her stuff and looks fabulous, BUT I suddenly realize how terrible I look at that this moment.

Me: mismatched sweats, hair in bun all over head, pale skin (yes I get pale or gray), stuffing my face with saltine crackers thinking I need to go back to the gym tomorrow.

On a brighter note: I do have shoes similar to those, big glasses and a fly black purse...must work on a coat (not in red though, clashes with the red hair) to replicate this look. I'll get back to you on that...say April, it's too cold now!

*Note to self: Don't view Sartorialist until you are having a great hair and fashion day unless you want to feel like a loser!

Planning My Funeral at Wal-Mart Today

2009-11-02T18:44:00.006-05:00

I was feeling a little down today so I thought about planning my funeral. This turning 40 really has me bummed. So, what does any good 'ole American do when planning a funeral and shopping for a casket? They go to Wal-Mart of course! Yes, Wal-Mart! The black casket I picked out above got 4.5 stars!

LOL

BTW...I really wasn't planning my funeral but caskets from Wal-Mart was too funny to pass up. Thanks Misses.

What Does a Girl Do Instead of Blog? Shop!

2009-10-20T08:00:00.001-04:00

Well not really shop b/c I'm saving money for adoption, but you know I know how to save a dime. I've been thrifting, freecycling like crazy (I'm a lot addicted and some of the things I've gotten you just wouldn't believe...later date) and figuring out what I have of value in my home and getting rid of stuff I don't want. For me and baby; I am VERY proud. Would you like to see what I've gotten? Glad you asked.

I am a design maniac! I've decided to leave the design blogs (and apparently blogging in general...is anyone there anymore) to those more focused than I but I live and die by great design. Over the past few years I've been in a funk and so has my design but as of 40 I've taken my life and design back. Since I'm saving for adoption I'm being a bit more creative than normal and having fun. Who knew of all the things I could find. When I saw this table it was love but not at couple grand price tag! Hmmm...thinking....

I can make that. I found this drum at the thrift store for $6. I still need to buy a glass top but you get the idea. Check out my midcentury lamp on top. ADORE. It needs to be rewired and painted (not sure of color yet) but for the great design and $8 gotta love it!

Next on the list are two rocking chairs I had for years that I bought from a neighbor for like nothing when they moved. I was thinking about selling them but when I put them on Craigslist my email started blowing up. I thought, maybe I was too hasty. Why am I of all people not checking this out more...I was in this decluttering phase so I really didn't care but I stopped in my tracks.

I did a little recon and found out on 1stdibs that my chairs made in 1950 are by Lawrence Peabody; once refinished they will be worth a cool $2400! I think I'll keep them. That's my kid's inheritance! LOL (I bet you'll stop laughing at my thrifting and yard sale shopping now won't you!). Don't hate me because I'm a beautiful, 40 year old shopping diva extraordinaire (you see I had to throw beautiful in there...someone has to tell me this if it is ONLY me! HA)!

Moving on to this little bench ($10) that now has a special place at the foot of my bed (although that picture is the wall in my room). I just love how different it is (I should probably paint it but due time). I'll never see this in anyone else's home.

I also must tell you that yesterday I came up on the Grandaddy of all deals but I can't tell you just yet. I must show you and I'm not sure when that will be. Sorry. Some good things are just worth waiting for.

Also, I know I'm supposed to post pictures of my organization but haven't taken any. Next up...clothing finds.

What are your best home finds...on sale, thrift, garage or yard sale?

Almost Clutter Free

2009-10-14T08:42:00.001-04:00

When I told my mother I wanted to de-clutter. She said "where?" I've always been neat but I had a secret, I hid clutter well. Paper stacked ever so neatly. All piles of whatever, had a nice pretty little home and well...don't open that door! Until now. I spent the last few months (the summer plus) sorting and getting rid of everything! I mean everything. I have gone through every single drawer, box, closet, cubbyhole, cabinet, shed and eve in my home (interior and exterior). I've gotten rid of:

jewelry
furniture
underwear/socks
magazines
unmatched silverware, extra pots, pans, storage containers
expired anything
clothes (that I don't wear/like/fit), things discolored, with a hole, out of date or anything questionable
books I haven't opened in years and don't intend to
extra vases and tchcokes that were attacking dust
extra makeup, lotions and potions
anything that I don't love, need, have sentimental value or that I think is beautiful was out of here!

When I started doing this and I realized I didn't miss any of the items I thought many of the following things:

Did I buy all of this crap? Why? Why? Why? When was the last time I used this? What the Hell was I thinking? Arghhh! I want my money back! Never again! What a waste! Are you kidding? Now that was funny! #$!@@%!!!**&%

I have posted over 200 items to freecyle. Taken bags and bags to thrift and consignment stores. Sold items on Craigslist - sorry ex man - you shouldn't have left that juicer here...too bad you didn't leave more! I also had a yard sale where I made almost $500...okay one of my friends donated $150 for my adoption but I did give him some items so it still counts! I have a few more things that I'm trying to decide if I should sell them on ebay, donate or give them away then I'm DONE decluttering!

It feels and looks awesome.

I have boxes for my storage shelf in the basement by the water heater, etc. (albeit not as pretty as I would like but that will come in the redecorating phase)...even the hammers and glue guns have homes now. Why do I have 7 hammers and 6 glue guns? Hmm when I couldn't find one I would buy another. Not any more. All medicine and vitamins have storage...I mean I'm like the queen of freakin' organization over here now! What I have realized from all of this organization is that once you begin it is like a new disease. I walk around my house now thinking do I really need this. Most of the time the answer is No. Yes! I love this new less is more life.

Now on to a major clean before redecorating. That won't be fun!

Tomorrow I'll post pictures of my awesome organization.

Has anyone else gone through this? Maybe you moved and were forced to de-clutter but how did you feel and what did you get rid of?

Hyperpigmentation be gone!

2009-10-11T20:37:00.009-04:00

Remember when I look like this 12 weeks ago? I really can't express how much worse it was than this showed.

Now I looks like this!

No more bad concealer. No more running from people I know and hanging out in dark alleys. My complexion is almost 100% clear and I owe it to my dermatologist, SkinCeuticals and RetinA. Little birds chirping in the background. My daily facial routine:

Morning

-wash: a cream cleanser to moisturize and take the residue off from the night

- tone: Burt's Bees rosewater & glycerin toner

- eyes: Auriderm illume eye creme (for dark circles)

- Moisturize & Prevent SkinCeuticals Hydrating B5 Gel & Phloretin CF (drops are mixed)

- Extra Preventative: A Serum...whatever I'm feeling at the moment

- Hide: Neutrogena FaceShield 55SPF

Night

-wash: something different from the morning probably...I take my mascara off with olive oil

-tone: s/a

-eyes: s/a

-Moisturize & Prevent: s/a

-RETIN A... I love this stuff. I have definitely seen a difference in my tone and those little lines...what lines I say! BEG (on your hands and knees if you have to) your dermatologist for some.

-Extra Moisturize: a replenishing oil for that extra work when I sleep then I wake up all beautiful and rested...ok I wake up rested!

Now, time to conquer these extra pounds (I start back at the gym and the South Beach diet this week).

What is your beauty ritual? What products have worked miracles for you?

It's Official...

2009-10-10T13:25:00.003-04:00

I'm 40...mammogrammed out and all!

For those of you that said a mammogram is torture...hmmm...sorry. It was pretty easy to me. I do have a high pain tolerance though. Weirdo yes.

Has everyone else had their mammogram? And yes, I'm back...for this week. LOL (the pressure)

Sometimes You Gots To Chill

2009-09-17T12:48:00.004-04:00

I know it's been a few weeks but REALLY...I just had to CHILL! In my rageous age I'm learning not to sweat the small stuff and just do me. I'm enjoying me much more and remembering who I used to be, figuring out who I want (or am supposed) to be and paying attention to what God has planned for me.

So, I've taken my much needed blogging break; I'm back and much lighter (figuratively, not literally...I wish) I'll add. I'll share more in the coming days.

Until then...CHILL

My Book- Assistance Needed

2009-08-31T08:52:00.004-04:00

I decided NOT to start a 3rd blog! Are you freakin' kiddin' me? I woke up a smelled the coffee? I'm purging my life not making it more difficult. So, this little 'ole blog of mine may have to change some but I'll figure out what the heck it is sooner or later. Just roll with me. In the meantime...if you didn't receive my personal email consider yourself lucky, you just get to read it here. It is about my book. I beg you (I don't beg often) please participate AND if you have a blog you can post something and ask people to help me out. I would be forever in your debt! I'll send you a book when published. ;-) But remember I'm pretty slow when it comes to mailing things! LOL

Here goes it:

Call For Recession Lesson Submissions

My name is Tami; I’m an education consultant, entrepreneur, blogger, and potential adoptive single parent who has just realized (ok, maybe it's been a while) that I am about to become a parent during one of the worst economic climates in history. I worry about maintaining a stable life for my family today and tomorrow in light of all of that is going on in the world today. I know I’m not the only one with these concerns. Everyone is talking about it; someone should write a book about it in "real speak." Hey, great idea! Why don't I write that book? So, I’m reaching out to you for your assistance…I am interested in finding out how the recession has affected you.

I don’t know about you, but the spendthrift days for me are gone. This economic setback has turned into the longest recession EVER. No one wants to use the D (depression) word for fear of a global meltdown, right??? But, I am sure we can all agree, this “recession” isn’t ending any time soon or maybe it just isn’t ending fast enough for us regular folk. Nevertheless, I’m getting used to it and have made adjustments for my new recession lifestyle. Who knew this would turn into a ”lifestyle”? However, after listening to friends, acquaintances, and the media, I realized this isn’t only my lifestyle; this is a new attitude many are taking hold of in some shape or form.

People that once spurned thrift stores, coupons, sales, dollar nights, hand-me-downs, or anything thrifty are now looking to save a dime any way they can. So, my questions for you are:
• How has the recession changed your life and/or relationships?
• What things have you given up?
• What are you doing (examples please) to save money?
• What lessons have you learned?
• Once the economy is stable, will you return to your old habits? If so, which ones? Why?
• Have you prepared yourself for the future regardless of what it holds? Please explain.
• If you haven’t made any lifestyle adjustments, why not?

Answer one question or answer them all. Tell a story, make it funny, heartfelt or even a tearjerker, just be sure to include who, what, where, why and how the recession has affected you and how you have adjusted for it. The best advice, lessons and stories will be used as part of a book compilation of short stories about the recession. Don’t forget those cost saving examples!

Submission deadline: October 5, 2009

Include*: First Name or Initials; City, State
Email to: recessionlessons2009@gmail.com
*Optional: If interested and available for follow-up questions, please include your name, contact information, and best time to reach you.

Thank you for your participation and for playing nicely in the sandbox with me!

Book Update

2009-08-22T08:02:00.002-04:00

I have figured out my book! Yes!

Sidebar: I met this guy online and after each point made he would put YES! I of course never met him, very annoying and a little scary I might add. BTTB (this texting has me all messed up)...Back to the book.

You will know more about it this week, which we know may mean next week for me. I'm working on the book and book proposal now but in the meantime guess what? I'm going to have another blog! LOL I can't keep up with the 2 I have now, but this one is a necessity for the book so If You Think You're Lonely Now:

LOL...you can catch me at the other blog AND I do expect full participation!

Have a great weekend! Anything fun going on?

Product Review: Auriderm Illume Eye Cream

2009-08-19T08:07:00.006-04:00

I've been on this quest to maintain my sexy. Since turning 40, I don't want to let myself go and we all know how easy that is. An extra helping of mashed potatoes, those cokes, daily happy hours, I'll exercise tomorrow (which rarely comes); oh, yes it is very easy to lose your sexy at 40 and older. Ladies, I know we are tired of it all and want to do what we want to do, but we will just feel worse when it "all" creeps up on us then we bemoan when did xxx happen? So, instead of those extra cokes, apple martinis, frappucinos and other yummy but not great for you items let's spend the money on making ourselves look and feel better. Trust me, in the end this is much better for your self-esteem and health.

Stepping off of my soapbox.

Remember, when I went to the dermatologist for my hyperpigmentation? I also had circles under my eyes. Pretty (ugly) I know. I purchased a product for that also. I would like to report it is working wonders! I no longer look like the other person won the fight or like a panda cub (cute as they may be).

Auriderm Illume Eye Creme - $50

Use twice daily (with your regular eye cream) and you are good to go. You should start seeing results in 4-6 weeks (I did).

Auriderm is now part of my beauty arsenal! Great product!

Does anyone else use anything for dark circles?

Wrong Target Market

2009-08-16T09:01:00.009-04:00

Yesterday, I received a clothing catalog in the mail and was excited because I thought it was my beloved Anthropologie. At second glance it wasn't, it was Urban Outfitters. Hmmm. I've never received a catalog from them I thought. I haven't purchased any clothes from there since college. I have seen some cute, funky items for my house, but clothes...no. I wondered, how did I get on the mailing list considering I'm a little past their target marketing age. Well, maybe there was something cute in the catalog I thought.

Hmmmmm. Nope!

Again. How did they get my information? They should ask for their money back for my name on that list they purchased. What a rip-off! Clearly, I'm not in their target group! Where is my Anthropologie catalog?

What catalogs are you waiting for?

Urban Outfitters Early Fall '09 Catalog

False Alarm

2009-08-14T05:01:00.007-04:00

Well, after a second visit AND a new adoption counselor, I decided against the puppy. I really liked her, but I think she had a lot too much energy and I would have had to take her back to the rescue (to be rescued from me) if she started chewing my Noguchi table.

Jus' keepin' it real.

Doggie Update

2009-08-13T17:08:00.002-04:00

I think I found a puppy! I wasn't necessarily looking for a puppy as I have been told, I was looking for dogs under age 2 and hypoallergenic. Today I stopped off at the Washington Animal Rescue League just to see what was what. I saw all the hypoallergenic dogs but there was one more dog they wanted to show me that was only 5 months old, not hypoallergenic but so sweet. I said sure why not. Aww man! I think I may love her. She is a Chihuahua and Miniature Pincher mix. She's playful, lovable and so cute! Not hypoallergenic or potty trained (lol) but fairly obedient.

I visited with her for about an hour; I'm going to take my friend and her daughter to see her later today. I did place an application, so I may be a first time Mommy soon. I'll be prepared for Baby I next year yet! :-)

Are my Toes Aging?

2009-08-12T19:44:00.003-04:00

No seriously, I'm having some toe issues and I need help. One toe on my left foot and 2 on my right (my toe knuckles if there is a such thing), the skin is getting/has gotten hard and dark. Hyperpigmentation on my toes? I mean WTFIGOH? Any suggestions for helping my toes and feet? I would hate to pay money to go back to my expensive azz dermatologist for my toes but I will.

So...what do I do? What do I do about my toes peeps? I know you are laughing but answer my question between giggles!

RUT?

2009-08-11T14:31:00.004-04:00

(click picture to make larger)

I'm crazy busy these days always seeming like I'm doing nothing. I'm still working on enjoying my 40s...I'll let you know when that happens. In the meantime see if you can decipher this:

My BFF went to Tarjay and bought me this periodic text table so she/we could understand all the new lingo. TBH, I thought texting was NBD until this chart. Man, it's really FMTYEWTK! Def! However, I will admit some are NTK so I don't look like a L7.

So, if you have a QT or Sk8r at home then U2 will be sending me THX BTA DKDC just may be easier. MLAS!

TFLMS. TTFN!

Tami

Food Poisoning Follow-up

2009-08-01T16:38:00.002-04:00

TamStyles got a great response from a customer service follow-up which reminded me I forgot to tell you all about my food poisoning follow-up with Safeway. They were very apologetic and sent me a $100 gift card. As many days as I was sick it really should have been more, but the $100 was very nice to have. It went very fast and I had fruit for days. No more fish from Safeway though!

Moral of the story: always let companies/organizations know when they do not meet your service or product expectation.

The Late Night Infomercial Suka

2009-07-31T13:35:00.007-04:00

Yes, I'm the one who stays up late and (cough) makes infomercial purchases.

I've gotten:

A super duper drill that cuts through anything...love that thing! Whatcha got? I'll cut it for you!

A table saw...my brother broke it.

The Magic Bullet blender...so-so.

Free Money Books...didn't get a dime.

Real Estate Investments...I own one house, mine!

A vacuum...I think???

Feet for a sewing machine to create new stitches...gave them away still in the box 2 months ago with the receipt from '99.

Windsor Pilates...I do it occasionally, as a matter of fact I took it out today!

Some book about health...that should tell you because I can't even remember what it was.

Another money book...I just got it today, I'll tell you later. I'm determined to find some free money, apparently, to pay for these things I keep buying off of infomercials!

I'm sure there are more that my memory has blocked out, but I've saved the best for last.

AND I'm ashamed to say...I bought Cindy Crawford's Meaningful Beauty 3 months ago! ROTFL

Sorry, I didn't take a picture and I couldn't find a larger picture online, okay I got too lazy.

Go ahead, I know you are laughing at me. My dermatologist looked at me like I was crazy and had a good laugh. I figured I might as well try it, she is beautiful, what do I have to loose. Yes, I am the perfect consumer. I should try sleeping more, it would keep me out of trouble. So, here is the scoop on Cindy's product.

First, there are wayyyyyy too many products: eye, masque, decollete, morning, night, toner, cleanser, serum, creams. Oy vey! I was in the bathroom too long, but I admit I did like pampering myself...in the beginning. In the end, I was like give me a break. I don't have Cindy's money, I have crap to do. So, I started skipping steps and that was that. Did the products work you ask? Somewhat. I think they are good for sensitive skin, which I have. I can't say that I saw any noticeable changes but things didn't get worse either. My skin did feel nice. I do really like the mask I will admit. Oh, I also really like the serum but it is so small that it doesn't last a month so that could be kind of pricey. The one thing that this kit did get me in the habit of doing is using a toner. I now see the benefit and will continue but will probably use Burt's Bees as I really like their all natural products.

Ok, there you have it. Have at me or you can admit to your infomercial purchases also.

Maxi: Yea or Nea?

2009-07-30T11:53:00.004-04:00

Where does the time go? If I only got paid on my own island because I sure do spend enough time there. My bad! Anyhoo...

I love a maxi dress. Vintage all the better. I have no less than a dozen vintage maxi length dresses so I can rock one at any time of the year. I always get compliments but they are often accompanied by someone saying "Tami only you can wear that and still look good." Comlimpent or diss? Not sure. Don't care.

The following was on the Sartorialist site...fabulosity from the streets of Paris:

So, how do you feel about the dress? Do you like maxi dresses in general?

Cher-isims

2009-07-23T21:05:00.004-04:00

I never realized how much I liked Cher until I was visiting Rosina at Middle Ageless and she had some wonderful quotes by Cher. Who knew she was full of wisdom? Cher actually made me think this evening. I have a new view or went back to my old view on men, hey Cher agrees...hee hee. Here are my favourites:

"I had my nose done, my breasts done, and my teeth done.....If I want to put my tits on my back, it's nobody's business but my own."

"A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones."

"Don't take your toys inside just because it's raining."

"I don't need a man. But I'm happier with one. I like to have someone I can touch and squeeze and kiss. But I don't fold up and die if I don't have a man around."

"If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen."

"It's not necessary, in order to be a complete person, that I have a man. It's not the end-all, be-all of my life."

"Men aren't necessities. They're luxuries."

"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."

"Some years I'm the coolest thing that ever happened, and then the next year everyone's so over me, and I'm just so past my sell date."

"Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great."

"Living your life the way you want to live it is the most important thing so if you have to pay small prices along the way, it's not important."

"If you are going to wait for someone to encourage you to do something, you just better give up."

Guess What I'm Getting????

2009-07-22T20:05:00.003-04:00

My best friend called me today and said for my birthday she decided what she is getting me and I have no say in the matter...

A PUPPY!!!!!

I went looking today but didn't find one I liked. I'm going again tomorrow. I guess if I can't have a man I can have a wo-man's best friend. I'll keep you posted on my puppy.

Any suggestions for a small, playful dog that is good with kids?

Product Review: Obagi Nu Derm Clear

2009-07-21T20:46:00.003-04:00

As you read in my post yesterday Obagi Nu Derm is some strong stuff. Apparently, there are people who swear by Obagi, but I am not one of them. I have sensitive skin and it didn't work for me, it burned me thus making my hyperpigmentation worse. My dermatologist (the real one) said I could use it on my back but I'm afraid to even use it there.

As with most name brands it is expensive. 90 bucks! But a little goes a long way. I imagine this bottle would last a few months...If anyone uses this I have a bottle going real cheap.

Has anyone had success from this or any Obagi product?

How the Dermatologist Jacked Me Up

2009-07-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

Do I look happy? NOOOOOO!!!!!

I haven't been taking the best care of myself, I'll admit it. I've been crazy stressed, don't sleep like I should and haven't been eating right. So, when a few months ago when I started getting dark spots on my face I was concerned. I changed my facial products. No avail. I tried to sleep more. No luck. I am trying to drink more water. Nope. So, I purchased OTC Esoterica fade cream. That worked a tiny bit but I was still concerned because it wasn't really working. Dark marks on the face...not cute. I had to wear concealer/foundation moisturizer and I don't like concealer and foundation.

I finally broke down and contacted my dermatologist but it was 45 days to see her. Not good enough. I looked for reviews for other top dermatologists. I made an appointment with one since the wait was only a week. Immediately (when I walked through the door) I knew I wouldn't like this dermatologist but my face needed help. She gave me a more potent lightening cream, Obagi. I used this stuff for 2 weeks and my face got worse. As a matter of fact the chemicals burned my face.

Uh, oh. Not happy.

I contacted my regular dermatologist and begged for an emergency appointment. I went the next day and she looked at my face and said "What happened to you?" I told her the story and she said the treatment was too strong for my skin since I have sensitive skin. She also informed me that the burn went down a layer or two on my face and the only way to get the discoloration out now is a combination of natural lightening products and laser.

OUCH!

So, let's talk how much money I'm out now. I paid $115 to the first doctor for treatment and products that made me worse. My regular doctor (who I trust) says I need new products and laser. Products and office visit $365. Laser which I haven't had yet $350.

Oh, and what did this all start from? Hormones I'm told. WHAT?????

Is this what I have to continue looking forward to in my 40s? HORMONES messing up my life, body and face? I've been taking hormones for 5 years now and I'm just 40! I wonder if I need a new prescription or if this is par for the course. I'm not coming off of them because the doctor said I'm too young and they have their benefits of which I'm totally in support of.

ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!

I guess until this goes away it's concealer and foundation. Any good recommendations out there?

Oh, what did I learn from this? Never trust my face to anyone else except Cultura. Just like my dentist, they are both a little more expensive but oh so worth it!

Giveaway #2: Any BITCH Can Cook

2009-07-14T08:09:00.007-04:00

Ahhh...don't get your thongs all worked up and in a knot. BITCH is a term of endearment in this case. Lil' Wayne or Snoop said the same thing didn't they?

clearing throat

So, if you're a B(abe) I(n) T(otal) C(ontrol) of H(erself), but you're tired of thinking what to put on the table every night, this is the cookbook and apron for you! From Appetizers & Drinks (spinach balls, Texas Trash, & Bloody Marys) to Breads & Brunch (peach muffins, banana split muffins), Sandwiches & Soups; Salads & Sauces; Main Dishes; Vegetables; & Desserts, this cookbook is full of comfort food at its finest (and easiest). Cookbook and apron: $50 value.

Have I cooked anything from this cookbook? Of course not, I don't wonder about what to put on the table, cereal is cool with me.

The contest will run through Wednesday, July 22nd. Just leave a message here or email me and I'll enter you in the contest. Not that I've mailed the prize from giveaway #1, but that is not the point. I'm slow hitting the post office -you still win- I'll mail the prizes at the same time. LOL (Now you understand why I hate to post things on Ebay!)

Youthful Looking Nails?

2009-07-14T05:00:00.000-04:00

Is there a such thing as youthful looking nails? Do men really pay attention to your nails? Do I really feel better if my nails are done? I used to think the answer was no until recently.

I used to be very high maintenance but it was hard on my purse and on my nerves. I made (and am still making) an effort to pare down my lifestyle which included getting rid of those acrylic nails. I continued to keep my nails trim and clean but I gave up fingernail polish (the toes stayed done) because it never stayed on very long. I did find a few that stayed on a few days but it became too much trouble, so I just didn't bother.

One of the things I have promised myself (for my 40s and beyond) is that I am always going to look good just for me which includes my nails. As a result, a few months ago I started polishing my fingernails again, however I was using a neutral polish. I loved the way it looked but I didn't think anyway else noticed. I was wrong.

The past few weeks several men (even twenty-somethings) have said how nice my hands and nails look. One man said what color is that, peach? WOW! I always do my nails now. The neutral dries fast and gives a quick gloss. I can do my nails in 15 minutes (or less) and I'm good to go. I've branched out to lighter neutrals and may even try fashion colors again...as long as they come from OPI or Essie. Love them!

Do you do/get your nails done regularly? What is your favorite polish brand?

More Sequin Love

2009-07-13T08:29:00.005-04:00

Silly rabbits, sequins don't equate to old age! I was too sick to do a fashion show of me rockin' sequins but I will. They are definitely not for everyone, like vintage clothing, but they don't signify old age. People Magazine had a poll about sequin pants and only 12% of the participants said they would wear this trend. Not surprising that I am part of the small percentage; I've always had my own program and walked to my own beat on my own island.

Angie Harmon (age 36), Blake Lively (age 21) and Eva Herzigova (age 36)

BTW, I feel better today. I'm going to eat and drink like I've just gotten released from the hospital for the week. I'm afraid of food right now. Sickness is always a great way to loose a few pounds! ;-)

Spoke To Soon...

2009-07-12T17:34:00.003-04:00

ARRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! It won't let me be!

Can I get a break? I've missed a great weekend.

I want my money back for the crab legs that made me sick, I'm requesting that tomorrow!

Feeling Better

2009-07-11T03:46:00.007-04:00

It's 3:46 am and I'm FINALLY starting to feel better. My stomach cramps, body aches, headache, fever, hot/cold flashes and nausea have started to subside. I think today I will actually be able to take a shower and enter the land of the living. I won't be 100% but better.

Whew, that was terrible!

BTW...the culprit was crab legs purchased and cooked at Safeway.

Food Poisoning...HELP

2009-07-10T09:33:00.003-04:00

Anyone ever had food poisoning? I have a small (what is small) case of it.

What can I do other than lay in a little ball on the floor of my bathroom?

HELLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!!

Washing That Gray Right Outta My Hair!

2009-07-09T20:06:00.005-04:00

Remember the commercial jingle from the '70s?

"I'm gonna wash that gray right outta my hair. I'm gonna wash that gray right outta my hair."

whistling now....

Well, that is exactly what I did today! No, my brows aren't gray, but I need to look like a natural redhead don't I?

And how was your day?

The Color Purple

2009-07-08T00:01:00.002-04:00

Last week one of my friends (a former client) called me and said she was taking a couple of her friends out for dinner and to see The Color Purple...to my surprise I was invited also. Wow. How nice. I took my mother to see The Color Purple on Broadway when it first came out and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I definitely was excited to see it again.

Five of us met at the Kennedy Center for dinner first at the Roof Terrace Restaurant. Can you say YUMMY? OMG. If you have a chance to catch a show at the Kennedy Center please, Please, PLEASE eat dinner at the Roof Terrace; you won't regret it, I promise.

Next, the show. Fabulous. It was a little different from when on Broadway, but IMHO it was better. Fantasia did her thing as Celie!

"I curse you. Until you do right by me everything you think about is gonna crumble!" (maybe I should have said this to Mr. Wonderful last week...tee hee hee)

If you haven't seen the Color Purple yet...GO! As you can tell, we had a great night. I must spend more time with my friends. More girl's nights I feel are coming up this year before baby girl comes home AND you can quote me on that one!

Has anyone else seen The Color Purple?

Sequin Love

2009-07-07T00:01:00.002-04:00

Now this is how you do it...

A fabulous silver streak in the hair (mine will always be dyed though),

a casual yet appropriate enough top,

a great sexy pair of heels,

AND

a pair of funky sequined pants. LOVE! Oh, yes...I love sequins, metallic and anything sparkly!

Does anyone else love their fabulousness? Tell me I am not the only one.

Thanks Coco+Kelley for the great picture yesterday.

So Far, 40 Sucks!

2009-07-06T05:21:00.004-04:00

As Tam says I keep it real, so I'm just keepin' it real...thus far 40 sucks! I've been having a miserable month so I needed to take an unexpected break from the blog world for a little while. Since life seems to keep getting the best of me I've decided what the hell, I might as well start blogging again--it's a legal and inexpensive diversion albeit time killer.

The only thing I will share about the past few weeks is Mr. Wonderful is history. I was surprised and heartbroken because it was perfect, but apparently only on my end or in my mind. He told me last week that he was looking for someone like Erykah Badu. WTF? Erykah Badu? In the words of one of my friends...I guess he wants a weirdo with 3 baby daddies. Sighhhhhh.

Good Bye! Good Luck finding your Erykah.

L.A.M.B. = Shoegasam

2009-06-14T16:19:00.007-04:00

Last week when I went shopping for my birthday I came across a designer that I never paid much attention to until I saw a pair of shoes that I just wanted to have sex with. L.A.M.B. by Gwen Steffani. OMG. Her shoes are beautiful! I put a pair on and they felt as good as they looked, even at 4" high. As I sat in the Neiman Marcus Last Call outlet for a minute trying to compose myself and catch my breath the sales woman came over. I told her it was my birthday week and how much I loved these shoes. As a matter of fact I loved them so much I just wanted to have sex with them. She said that was a good way to describe them because they were just that sexy. Too bad for me, I had absolutely no where to wear them; they weren't practical, but damn they were sexy and pretty as $%#&! As I walked around for another 15 minutes in them, trying on other shoes, adoring them, knowing I couldn't take them home, I decided on two other pair of shoes that were more practical. A blue pair of flats to wear with jeans and a comfy pair of white wedges:

So, I put the wonderful L.A.M.B shoes back and left the area content with my new shoes and feeling the need for a cigarette for sure. Since I forgot to take a picture of the shoe and can't find the exact shoe online, I've decided to show you a few other sexy shoes from Gwen Steffani's L.A.M.B. line. I never knew how comfortable and sexy her shoes were, but from now on, I'm going to start checking for her line of shoes. They are pricey no doubt, but any shoes that are comfy and make me want a cigarette (and I don't even smoke) are okay by me.

Has anyone worn L.A.M.B shoes? What is your favorite line of shoes?

So, I'm 40...

2009-06-12T09:54:00.005-04:00

Yupeers, I'm 40 now. Ok. Now What?

I've been silent this week because I figured something, anything was supposed to happen.

It didn't. Honestly, I think I was a little disappointed.

I still am but if this year hasn't taught me anything it has taught me to be faithful and trust in the Lord. Each day I am praying and saying "Let your will be done" and you know what? It is. I'm feeling better and while I still have a way to go I just feel better and I do see my life changing for the good. Hey, my way certainly hasn't worked so... lol

Sorry, I digress...

My birthday came and went with no hoopla. No party. No trip. No nada mucho. You see, I'm adopting and looking for a new job so there isn't a whole lot of extra money for these things. I plan to do something this year, but I was hoping my birthday would have been the time.

The birthday was nice and peaceful though. I'm thankful I wasn't stressed and pray I have left that ultimate stress in my 30s. I bought new shoes (3 pairs and clothes)...thanks Mom and Bob. I got a beautiful new ceiling fan...thanks Bob. I went to church first. I have a new wonderful man in my life (I'll call him A). We spent the day by the water in Baltimore walking hand in hand. We ate great seafood and had gelato for dessert.

For those that have asked me about A. Yes, I met him online. Yes, he is normal (today) LOL. We have been seeing each other about a month now almost daily. He is a Christian. Never married. No kids. Two dogs. Employed. Handsome. Dimples. Athletic. Nice body. 39. Very funny. He gets me and I get him. I adore him. 'Nuff said.

There you have it. Where I stand on being 40 today, June 12th.

My Birthday - BELATED...giveaway winner

2009-06-08T12:16:00.004-04:00

It's official I'm 40! Funny, I feel the same as I did at 39, 38, 37, 36 and so on, albeit a little freer, but definitely not older!

I didn't post much last week because...

(thinking of excuses)

I was too busy trying to figure out what to do for my birthday

AND....hmmmm...

I'm hella grown, so I'm not afraid of you all...I just plain didn't feel like it! :-)

I'll post more later but here is one of my favorite birthday songs I made my friend listen to (much to his chagrin) all day yesterday.

Ooops, I almost forgot, Tamstyles you are the lucky winner of the Correspondence Giveaway. Email me your contact information for my birthday gift (nice I know) to you. :-)

Another giveaway coming this week!

Uhhhh, I also accept belated birthday wishes.

4 and counting

2009-06-03T23:53:00.004-04:00

Another day down, 3 more to go. Happy Birthday to ME!

I didn't do much today (migraine) except go to a friend's house who just had knee surgery today. Everyone was bringing her food so I thought why cook when I can eat all of her food instead! I'm practical ya know! I even got a birthday cake out of it...well, sorta. Her mother sent her a cake, but of course I mentioned my birthday was Sunday so people ended up telling me Happy Birthday. It's a good thing my friend loves me.

Yesterday, I bought a pair of expensive sandals; I have a thing for expensive shoes can't help it. My mother used to tell me her feet have to get her to work so she doesn't stiff herself on her shoes, however I'm pretty sure she wasn't talking about Gucci, Prada or Feragamo. What the hey, I'm the next generation, we do things just a little extra than the last. LOL My feet thank me though. I also went to dinner with a friend. I kept telling the waitress (at Coastal Flats) it was my birthday thinking I would get a little special treatment but NADA! Dang. Is that what happens when you turn 40 at restaurants? The only thing you get is the bill? I was hoping for a song, candle, or a nacho with a flicker...something! sighhh

Tomorrow thrift stores and vintage stores...my favorite!

Since I'm not going out of town for my birthday and it is too late to get my friends together I'm thinking about skydiving or something like that. I want to do something fun, different and interesting. Not the typical dinner date. What do you think?

5 is a GREAT number!

2009-06-02T13:44:00.005-04:00

Not only is my birthday 5 days away but guess what happened to me today?

I got a design client! That's right peeps, I'm back in the world of all things b-u-ti-ful (that's beautiful for the literal ones). My client is located in a suburb of Cleveland. From what I can tell right now it is almost a whole house: kitchen, family room, dining room and mudroom. fun, Fun, FUN!

Great 5 day Birthday gift to me. I think I'll go celebrate tonight by going to dinner with a friend. I went out last night with my new "friend", had smoothies and looked for shoes but didn't find anything. Better luck tonight!

Now, you know I am a blogaholic...lol, should I start another blog? Maybe, it will help my business and keep me in my 1 client at a time philosophy and my baby in her daycare and Mommy in new vintage outfits. Do you think I can incorporate it into Middlerageously or it should be an entirely new blog or just do it and not blog about it?

6 and counting...

2009-06-01T14:27:00.005-04:00

6 days and counting!

I've decided I'm doing something everyday this week to celebrate my birthday. My friend's said I should have a birthday month...I like the sound of that. Hey, I'm turning 40, that's a huge milestone so why not? I'll let you know if I plan to turn my birthday week into a birthday month next Monday.

So, what am I doing today?

Going shopping of course! I need to look fabulous, during my birthday week/month, don't I? Where do I do my shopping? Vintage stores, thrift stores and Neiman Marcus (store, outlet, Cusp) primarily. Huge contradiction I know, but hey if you haven't figured it out by now, that's me!

As far as buying a diamond...oh, how I want this David Yurman diamond necklace but it may have to wait until Christmas. Speaking of jewelry, has anyone heard of the site Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry where you can buy and sell jewelry given to you by exs? Great bargains and stories! Brilliant!

What is your youngest birthday memory?

7 is my Favorite Number

2009-05-31T23:40:00.003-04:00

It is my day of birth.

My lucky number.

AND

The number of days until my birthday!

Woot!

What shall I do for my birthday?

HMMMM.

Any suggestions out there?

MY FIRST GIVEAWAY!!!!!

2009-05-28T14:15:00.005-04:00

So, I haven't gotten big enough for anyone to want to give me anything to give to you guys yet. I'm trying though and I even gave my face to science for you yet nothing in return! HUMPH! I never...well, yes, I really have, but that is another story.

As you know I have been de-cluttering my life and wow it is so freeing. I can't tell you how many things I have given away or consigned...my house is looking pretty awesome. I still have a few areas left to tackle. My office, loft, shed and basement storage. Once that is done then I am free!!!!!! I started the loft project and I have so many items that are brand new (in original packaging) that need to go on eBay, Craigslist or just given away (don't ask why). So, since I am seeing the light I thought I would share a few goodies with you.

Giveaway #1 is a Multiple-Choice Correspondence Binder: Because Life Is Fill-In-The-Blank.

Following is the description I pulled off line:

Multiple-Choice Correspondence (MCC) is the next huge trend in epistolary communication. Why write longhand when there’s a multiple-choice letter to suit every life occasion? From breakups to noisy neighbors to nuptials, MCC is at turns hilarious, poignant, and downright utilitarian. * A great gift for the beleaguered correspondent * 43 letters in all, 112 pages total, all on 100-pound cardstock * Each letter is a self-mailer—just fold, seal, and send! * Letters are perforated for easy removal and twice scored for folding facility * After letters are removed, a checkbook-style stub is left to record the letter’s vital statistics * Sheet of round sealing stickers is bound into book * Classy introduction discusses the history of formulaic communication * Book is 10 x 11.25 inches, letters are 6.25 x 11 inches

What do you have to do to get this awesome giveaway? Send me an email by June 4th at middlerageously@gmail.com telling me "you need a little correspondence in your life". I'll use random picker to choose the winner which will be announced on Friday, June 5th.

Good Luck!

Good News, Bad News

2009-05-27T09:22:00.004-04:00

Well, the good news is I've been seeing someone and it isn't Bob! We've only been going out a little over a week, but we have been together 7 of 9 days. As you know this is a milestone for me because I normally don't make it past date #1. Sad yet true. So, far I haven't been able to pick him apart and he said he won't let me. LOL I'll keep you posted but it looks good; I do think he may be doing the Jedi Mind Trick on me or maybe, just maybe I've finally met someone who I may be compatible with. I'm not looking for perfection just someone perfect for me or a better translation, someone who can deal with my shit and I can deal with his.

We have the same cents of humor (yes, I meant cents because neither of us really think it's worth much) which is good or bad depending on the person. For example: last night I was standing very close to him (after exchanging germs) and he said "huh, it's time to wax that moustache again." I fell out laughing, covered my mouth and said "awww man...that's not right!" It was funny though. I thought I had a few more days honestly, but guess where I am going today? WAXING!

Who in your life keeps you laughing and never seems to offend you? As crazy as my life is, I definitely need laughter!

Your Husband May Be in His 20s BUT...

2009-05-25T18:22:00.007-04:00

...you are not! Sweet Butterfly, I love your music, but it is time to ~~start dressing your age~~ stop dressing like a hoochie and start showing a lot more class!!!!! PLEASEEEEEEE I beg you!

Click pix to make larger and see how scandalous Mimi was at LAX recently.

What a bad representation of a hot 40 year old...she is now going to just start being sad. Demi, please give Mariah some lessons on holding it down while having a younger hubby.

What do you all think?

If You Didn't Know...

2009-05-22T14:26:00.008-04:00

...in the midst of my trying to figure out what to do with my life, I'm actually a part-time interior decorator. I really enjoy it and am actually very good at it. Modest I know. My clients, family and friends don't know why I fight it...I'm not sure, I guess that's the MBA in me. However, I think I am going to start small projects again. I really miss it. The joy of spending thousands of dollars of someone else's money. Have you ever bought a $10,000 dining room table (not including chairs)? I have! I felt like a baller even though it wasn't mine, I was representing the rich yet not so famous.

And going to design shows??? Talk about furniture porn...it was the next best thing to an orgasm I've ever had! No, really! For a designer (lover of furniture or furniture snob) I kid you not! So, why am I revisiting this you ask? One of my blog buddies, Tam, is in the process of redoing her home and is looking at chairs this month so I'm adding my .02! So, Tam, I hope some of these pictures are helpful. I'll keep you guys posted on my new projects and heaven forbid I start a third blog! I just couldn't take another! LOL

What small steps are you making to move toward your dreams this year? Happy Friday and have a Safe and Happy Holiday!

My Nephew Wants an Older Woman

2009-05-20T14:23:00.003-04:00

I just got off of the phone with my nephew who is a very handsome and a young 20. Every single time he calls me one of the first things he says is "Auntie do you have a woman for me?" I laugh hysterically and continue to tell him he can't even buy alcohol legally so NOOOO. He says he doesn't need to, he can do other things. I laugh even harder and tell him he isn't messing with an 18 year old he would get his feelings hurt. ;-)

"Oh, c'mon Auntie, I'm tired of these young girls and their games and dumb conversations. Plus, I know all of your friends are fine and not silly. I want a WOMAN! So c'mon Auntie...hook me up!"

Tami is now ROTFL.

I finally told him sure, I would try to find him a woman. So...here is my attempt...tee hee. Does anyone want a 20 year old Army ~~boy~~ oops MAN (as he calls it)? LOL I'm just being a good Auntie.

Things We Give Up For Companionship

2009-05-15T12:15:00.004-04:00

All we want is love, but as Chris Rock says (paraphrasing) the one we end up marrying is second runner up because our first choice married someone else. Or is that we end up being someones second runner up? I think the point is we both end up being each others second choice. Ok, not you TamStyles since you two have been together since you got breasts and he felt you up. ;-)

Is this really true? Do we really end up marrying the second runner up? Was my greatest love to date really the love of my life? Will there be no other love to compare? Is that why so many people are still single because we are still looking or waiting for that first great love to return? Oh, better to love and to have lost then to have never loved at all! What a crock! Hee Hee. As much as that hurt...hmmm me thinks I could have done without all the pain, tears and...I did enjoy the lost weight though...but it was fun while it lasted.

Here's my dilemma:

I have this friend I'll call Bob. Bob loves me to death and will do absolutely anything for me. And has. Even listened to me cry about other men. I know, I know!

The problem is...I'm just not that into him like he is into me. We have had this conversation over and over for say 5-6 years. He wants to move here (from the other side of the US) to be with me. I'm not interested in that type of relationship with him and I don't want to ruin or loose our friendship. Some people have said I should just marry him because a marriage is more than sex or attraction but I still have this...FANTASY (WOW) that I can be deeply attracted to my mate and be madly in love and have great sex. Come on! I'm still not even 40 yet. I'm not ready to give up on that dream. Plus I do love him and I wouldn't want to put him in a situation to make him feel not wanted or loved just for the sake of being with me and making my life easy. Damn my morals!

What do you all think? As we get older and are looking to get married for the first or second time do we give up things such as true love for companionship? What should I do with my friend?

Are You Lying About Your Age?

2009-05-13T08:02:00.003-04:00

Proudly we proclaim 40 is the new 30. Yes, what a great sisterhood we have in our new found "youth". New goals are set and we finally understand the statement youth is wasted on the young. We promise not to do "that" anymore because we are smarter, stronger, and wiser now.

But are we?

Many women over 40 still feel the pressure from society to lie about their age. 40 is still 40... meaning it's just old. No one will want you. Hang it up. You will never get married. YIKES! So, many beautiful women believe the hype and start off relationships carrying an unnecessary burden or misleading the man. Sure, men do it to...I've met a few and when I found out I gave them the boot. I didn't want to date anyone in that age bracket (50s) and I certainly didn't want to date anyone that would lie about their age. It just didn't bode well with me.

I know I'm just turning 40 but as I'm online dating there are LOTS of men that are not interested in dating me because of my age. OK. Keep in Moving. They just are not meant for me. I come with other issues too...at age 35 I lost my ability to have children. Try telling a man that. Keep it moving. I know there is a man for me, but I'm not going to lie about who I am. Plus, I'm a terrible liar anyway. Just ask my mother.

I know some of you do it and have done it. I don't mean to offend and I'm not berating you...it's just not my thing. But remember all of these little cliches:

You're only as old as you tell yourself
Age is only a number
Age is mind over matter, if you mind then it matters
Get up and move (I just made that one up)
If they don't want you the way you are, the hell with them (ok, I made that up too)

Finally, thanks to Fabulous After 40 for posting this video from CBS about Should Women Lie About Being Over 40...this actually sparked my post for the day.

Watch CBS Videos Online

So, what do you think? Is it okay to lie about your age?

I'm Golfing!

2009-05-12T04:40:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I had my first golf lesson! Yeah!!!!! I think I'm going to love golf. I also did great. All of the men were very impressed. I got the wind up under my balls (golf balls of course, I don't have the other kind) as they said. I also have great hand eye coordination. They said by the end of the summer I will probably be good...for my first season playing that is.

I'm going out again on Saturday so I'll try to get some pictures of me in a swing for you all. I guess I can cross golf off now. Finally a cross off. Whew, I was getting a little lazy there!

Does anyone else play golf?

Electrolysis or Bust!

2009-05-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

I have only achieved a fraction of my Rocking 40 List so far, but this weekend I came up with the first of my Nameless 41 List(any suggestions for a name?). I have decided that my ~~moustache~~ dainty lip hairs are out of control! I can't take it anymore! As soon as I wax or use that little tool from CVS they pop right back up...just like my darn gray hairs! To make matters worse, they are dark brown/black. Very noticeable...possibly a dirty upper lip, a rash, huh a moustache! No woman is supposed to have whiskers on her face! It just is not normal! Therefore, the first addition to my Nameless 41 List is Electrolysis. Maybe I can get my eyebrows done at the same time so I can keep my fabulous $75 looking eyebrows all the time!

Has anyone had electrolysis? Does it hurt? What is the cost I wonder for my little lip? Do you think I should get it done for my eyebrows also?

Beauty Tricks

2009-05-08T12:53:00.004-04:00

I've heard from many of you that you have gotten rid of (or are trying to) your dull wardrobe in order to get your sexy back. Let's not forget our face. Everyday, as I look in the mirror, I think "yea, you're still cute albeit not that IT girl like you used to be," c'est la vie. Buttttt...I'm going to hold onto this cute, sexy woman as long as I possibly can and man it is work! I would much prefer the Ben & Jerry's to the Tofu anyday! And we are only hitting 40 now...argghhh. Oh, well, I'm sure once I figure out what works it will be a breeze. At least that is what I tell myself. Anyhoo, just like I'm purging my closet because that cute little black dress is no longer so cute, I need to rethink my makeup choices. So, thanks to More (the May issue) following are a few (ok, 40) tips for us all:

1. Switch to a sheer foundation. "Pores get larger as we age and a full-coverage foundation settles into them, making them look even bigger," says Pat Wexler, MD, a dermatologist in New York City. A better bet: Use a light, hydrating formula and apply in a thin layer.
2. Go golden. "Skin loses pigment -- and radiance -- as you age. So either switch to a foundation with a warmer tint, add a drop of liquid bronzer to your favorite foundation, or make bronzing powder part of your makeup regimen," says Sandy Linter, a consulting makeup artist for Lancome. Try Clinique True Bronze Bronzing Gel ($19, clinique.com), Estee Lauder Bronze Goddess Sun-Blush Illuminator ($32, esteelauder.com), Elizabeth Arden Mineral Bronzing Powder ($32, elizabetharden.com) or YSL Tresor D'Afrique Bronzer Sun Powder ($72, yslbeautyus.com).
3. Cover blemishes correctly. "Never use an undereye concealer to hide a pimple -- it slides right off," Wexler says. "I prefer an oil-free concealing pencil. It's opaque enough to cover but dry enough that it stays put." Her favorite: Shiseido The Makeup Corrector Pencil ($17, sephora.com).
4. Put on two layers of moisturizer. Apply one before foundation, then pat on a second, very light coat over your makeup. "This gives your skin a dewy finish and an extra dose of hydration," says Audrey Kunin, MD, a dermatologist in Kansas City.
5. Create the illusion of lift. "Use an illuminating cream or powder on your upper cheekbone, the center of your forehead, and just below your lower lip," says Laura Geller, a makeup artist in New York City. "The first two spots make the top of the face appear lifted, the latter detracts from sagginess around the chin." Good for most skin tones: DiorSkin Shimmer Powder in Pop Diamond ($43, sephora.com) or Laura Geller Liquid Candlelight Face and Body Glow ($24, qvc.com).
6. Use hot flash-proof makeup. "Water-resistant eyeliner and mascara stay put when your body temp soars," says Geller, who also recommends keeping powder to a minimum since it cakes up on a damp face. Try Cover Girl Exact Eyelights Waterproof Eye Brightening Mascara ($8, drugstores).
7. Get cheeky. "A rosy color on the apples of your cheeks brightens not-so-radiant skin," says makeup artist Bobbi Brown. Two we like: Jane Iredale Cream Blush in Clarity ($26, dermstore.com) and Bobbi Brown Cheek Tint in Sheer Raspberry ($22, bobbibrowncosmetics.com).
8. Book brow time. "Eyebrow shaping takes five years off your face. Have it done by a pro, then follow the lines yourself. Thinking you can create the right shape is like thinking you can cut your own hair," says Kimara Ahnert, a makeup artist in New York City.
9. Stop waxing your brows after 40. "You're killing the hair root," Linter warns. "If you ever want to grow back those hairs, you're out of luck."
10. Do a mini eye-lift. "Use a brow pencil or powder along the top line of your arches to make the whole eye appear raised," Geller says.
11. Stop eyeliner bleed. "Apply liner as you usually do, then use a cotton swab to subtly smudge the line at the outer corners, directing it upward," Linter says. "Skip this step and the color will settle into your smile lines, making you look tired."
12. Don't neglect your nails. Keeping your tips buffed to a shine -- or polished in a color with some blue or pink in it (too much yellow accentuates sallowness) -- will make your hands look younger. A lacquer that works on almost everyone: OPI Nail Polish in Otherwise Engaged ($7, opi.com for stores), an opalescent pink.
13. Kiss dark lipstick good-bye. A very deep, dark lip hue is unattractive if it bleeds into the creases around your mouth. Soft, neutral shades such as rose or peach for fair to medium tones and sheer browns and berries for dark skin are the most flattering. Try Shiseido Perfect Rouge Lipstick in Venetian Rose ($25, sephora.com) for fair to medium skin, or Laura Mercier Shimmer Lip Colour in Candy Pink ($22, lauramercier.com) for dark skin.
14. Be wary of too many layers. The whole "no long hair after a certain age"' thing is total bunk, but be careful of a cut that's too shaggy, says Ted Gibson, a New York City stylist, "If your hair is graying, avoid lots of layers, because they make wiry strands even more stubborn and unruly."
15. Think bangs, not Botox. Use your hair to camouflage forehead lines. But ensure that bangs are brow-skimming and fringed (not blunt) at the ends so the look isn't too severe.
16. Skip the jaw-length bob. A style that hits right at the jawbone emphasizes any sags. "Go for something about an inch longer," Gibson suggests. "It's just as chic, but it hides slack skin."
17. Give mousse another try. If your last encounter with this foamy volumizer was when Madonna wore headbands, here's the scoop: There's a new mousse in town, reformulated so it still thickens but no longer stiffens. "A golf ball-size dollop applied to damp hair plumps your strands but still leaves them soft," says Boston-based stylist Gretta Monahan, who likes Dove Body and Lift Volumizing Mousse ($3, drugstores).
18. Use a boar-bristle brush. "Gray hair is often kinky and hard to smooth," says Farah Reid, director of education at New York City's Blow salon. "Using a boar-bristle brush while blow-drying grabs and holds on to hair, creating more tension than you'd get with plastic or metal bristles." Try the Mason Pearson Boar Bristle Pocket Mixture Brush ($90, beauty.com).
19. Don't shampoo every day. Sudsing up more than three or four times a week can dry your hair and fade your color. "As you get older your scalp produces less oil, so you don't need to wash as often," says Kyle White, a colorist at New York City's Oscar Blandi Salon. "But if you just can't get used to the idea of a day without cleaning your hair [or you work out -- and sweat -- a lot], get in the shower and rinse with just water, or spray a dry shampoo into your roots, then brush it through." Try Bumble and Bumble Hair Powder ($34, bumbleandbumble.com).
20. Add a few highlights by your face. "It brightens up your skin and softens the look of fine lines," says Jason Backe, a colorist at Gibson's salon.
21. You're going gray where? If you want to match the hair down there to what's on your head, try a color kit safe for sensitive skin (look for something made without ammonia). The creator of Betty Hair Color, Nancy Jarecki, points out that if you're tired of the natural look, going orange or hot pink might perk things up a bit. (And you thought the Brazilian was your only option.) Betty Color $15, bettybeauty.com) comes in 10 shades.
22. Try a hair growth inhibitor. A prescription cream like Vaniqa or an over-the-counter option such as Aveeno Positively Smooth Moisturizing Lotion ($8, drugstores) reduces the growth of coarse body hair that can be caused by hormone fluctuations.
23. Invest in a magnifying mirror. To zero in on stray hairs -- around your eyebrows and elsewhere -- skip the reading glasses and pick up a small magnifying mirror with suction cups. If you stick it on the bathroom cabinet, you may be surprised at what you'll see in a different light.
24. Peptides. We repeat: peptides. Every single dermatologist we interviewed insists it is the most effective ingredient in serums and moisturizers to firm and lift. One peptide-packed product that works on all skin types: Kinerase C6 Peptide Intensive Treatment ($96, sephora.com).
25. Add retinol to your regimen. Whereas peptides plump and firm, retinol (or tretinoin, its Rx cousin, in products like Retin-A and Renova) smooths and evens out skin tone. Try ROC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Serum ($22, drugstores).
26. Breaking out? Don't even think about borrowing your teen's medication. "Their acne products contain benzoyl peroxide, which is too drying for older skin. A product made with salicylic acid, antioxidants, and calming ingredients will work just as well without leaving your skin dry and tight," says Wexler. We like Neutrogena Rapid Clear Acne Defense Lotion ($8, drugstores) and Pat Wexler Acnescription Overnight Acne Repair Lotion ($20, bathandbodyworks.com).
27. Hormone surge? Up the ante. "Women can get cystic pimples well into their 40s," says Denver plastic surgeon Christine Rogers, MD. If you tend to erupt the week before your period (or, if you're perimenopausal, around the time you feel like you're PMSing), exfoliate with an at-home scrub or peel twice a month to keep pores clear and slough off dead skin cells, clearing the way for (and boosting the potency of ) your treatment products, says Los Angeles dermatologist Zein Obagi. At-home scrubs that promise results without lasting redness: Kate Somerville ExfoliKate Gentle ($65, katesomerville.com) and Olay Regenerist Detoxifying Pore Scrub ($9, drugstores).
28. Fight fine lines -- in the shower. Before you step under the water, massage a drop of grapeseed oil into the skin around your eyes for 10 minutes, Obagi says: "It will improve skin texture." The oil is moisturizing, yes, but it also contains antioxidants that fight wrinkle-causing free radicals, which are deposited on your skin by UV rays and pollution during the day.
29. Sleep on two pillows. "Keeping your head elevated prevents fluid from collecting around your eyes during the night and causing puffiness in the morning," says San Antonio-based dermatologist Vivian Bucay, MD.
30. Put your eye cream in the fridge. "The cold temperature shrinks blood vessels and helps to minimize undereye bags," Obagi says.
31. Moisturize in layers. "For maximum plumping, follow your regular lotion with a heavy cream or facial oil. On really bad beauty days, I put on oil and wait an hour before looking in the mirror," admits makeup artist Bobbi Brown, who swears by Bobbi Brown Extra Face Oil ($60, bobbibrowncosmetics.com). A 10-minute moisturizing mask also plumps you up fast. We like Sonya Dakar Hydrating Blue Mask ($67, sonyadakar.com).
32. Baby your neck and chest. Because the skin there is so thin, these areas generally don't age as well as your face -- especially if you've been lax on sunscreen. "Using a moisturizer with retinoids or peptides will help," says Miami and New York City-based dermatologist Fredric Brandt, MD. "But your skin in these areas is sensitive, so don't use it every night -- that could leave you overly red and flaky."
33. If all else fails, go Italian. "Skin luminosity makes you look younger," Rogers says. "Once a year, I go bike riding in Italy, where I can eat all I want and look at gorgeous Italian men all day. It makes my complexion glow."
34. Remove stains at home. Combine equal parts baking soda and hydrogen peroxide, and use it to brush your teeth once a week. "This combo removes surface stains -- and it's totally safe," says New York City cosmetic dentist Gregg Lituchy, DDS.
35. Follow the 20-minute rule. "Whitening toothpastes don't stay on the teeth long enough to work," Lituchy says. "A product should sit for at least 20 minutes to provide any kind of noticeable result." To lighten at home, try Crest Whitestrips Advanced Seal ($45 for a two-week supply, drugstores), which should be worn for 30 minutes twice a day.
36. Consider porcelain veneers. "Many women over 40 were given tetracycline as children, which permanently darkened their teeth," Lituchy says. "Whiteners alone probably won't bleach out the stains, but porcelain veneers instantly and permanently give you a white smile." Veneers start at about $500 per tooth.
37. Get a dental facelift. Cheek sagging is often caused by receding gums as we age. "If you have your teeth subtly built up with thin veneers or bonding, it stretches the tissue of the upper lip and gives you a natural facelift sans surgery," says New York cosmetic dentist Jeff Golub-Evans, DDS.
38. Wear a scent that's not too spicy. Fragrance can make you feel fresh, femme fatale-ish, or even formidable. But don't overdo it. "During menopause, when your body temperature can spike spontaneously, you should avoid intense scents. Heated up, they become cloying," says Debbie Wild, fragrance and lifestyle director for Jo Malone. A safe but still sexy pick: Jo Malone Honeysuckle and Jasmine Cologne ($55, jomalone.com).
39. Make your scent endure. Another by-product of dry skin? "Fragrance doesn't last as long," Wild says. What helps: slathering on body lotion before you spritz to give your skin a slightly tacky surface -- and something for your scent to latch on to.
40. Raise your brows for photos. "This gives the appearance of an instant facelift," Kunin says. (If you aren't Botoxing, this is your payoff.)

If you read all of this (you are amazing)...do you have any other tips?

Lessons Learned

2009-05-07T15:51:00.004-04:00

On many blogs I've learned about some great musicians and even gotten some inspiration through some fabulous music. So, you know me...I thought I would jump on that bandwagon. Today, I'm so feeling Carrie Underwood's Lessons Learned.

I'm trying to come to terms with my life and the things that have or have not happened in it YET and I love listening to this song. It reminds that they are all just lessons learned.

Enjoy.

"Lessons Learned"

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

2009-05-05T22:17:00.009-04:00

I went from this at 4:30.

To this at 7:00.

(plus shrimp, plantains, rice and beans and mango mousse)

Today was a great day! I hope you enjoyed your Cinco De Mayo!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2009-05-04T14:23:00.007-04:00

Remember that little lent thing of working out 'er day? Yea, didn't happen.

Remember my goal of being in better shape in year 40? Yea, hasn't happened...yet.

I went on a date last weekend with an ex and he sent me pictures from the date. YIKES. He looked good (ok, he needs to loose weight but he's a comedian and he's fine with it, it's part of his routine now...lol), meanwhile I looked like I was very Hip. LITERALLY. I never knew my hips were (or could get) so wide! Yet, my date loved them. He said I had woman curves now! ROTFL I was horrified. I have a few too many curves, in a few too many places. He even said, "hey did your boobs get bigger." Yea, that's what happens with weight, it just goes everywhere! ARGHH I was pretty okay with my girl curves as he called them. I don't know if I'll have them back again because once you hit that pause button you fight and fight and DARN IT fight for every freakin' ounce but this is ridiculous. I'm not going out like a punk.

Those pictures were scary! I'm back in the gym with classes because obviously I need someone yelling at me. Do you think I can tighten some of this up by my birthday in a month? Let's hope so because I'm going shopping for my 40th and I would like to buy my normal size!

So, the moral to the story is...take a picture...that will smack a bit of reality into your life!

Any words of encouragement are welcomed!

The Cougar: 1 Woman, 20 Younger Men

2009-04-30T08:30:00.006-04:00

Last night I tried to be a good rageous reporter for you guys and finally watch The Cougar hosted by Vivica Fox.

BRUTAL. TORTURE.

I'm not sure which was harder to watch:

Vivica's tightly altered face
Vivica prancing around in clothes that screamed: hey I'm over 40 and trying really, really hard to have someone look at me and think I'm hot
Vivica's hair with the big bangs. I was thinking...why'd she go and do that?
the young men trying hard not to call the woman "old" and then replacing it for Cougar
the guys who still have adolescent bodies try to make it with a 40-something woman
those same "men" acting like teens in an effort to win her affection...rapping, juggling, performing a tired lap dance
boring, monotone Stacey in general

Oh man, this show is the worst! After 20 minutes of it I could no longer do it. I will not. REPEAT. Will not, watch The Cougar again. Ok, maybe next season to see if the show has gotten any better; I do need something to write about after all.

INMHO this is a show not worth watching. I'd rather do laundry, clean my house, organize shelves...heck clean my toilets! I'll even come clean yours, but please don't make me watch this show again!

Has anyone else watched The Cougar? Am I off base?

Even Millionaires are Idiots

2009-04-28T13:03:00.004-04:00

Have you ever watched Millionaire Matchmaker with Rageous woman Patti Stanger? Now, everyone doesn't like it but I think she is a hoot! Plus I get a chance to see that even millionaires are idiots and from the cheap seats...I don't feel so bad. I usually don't believe in misery loves company, however in this case I do make an exception. If you participate in Millionaire Matchmaker you kinda set yourself up for whatever haterade you get. I'm just sayin'.

Over the weekend I was watching on of the shows and Patti went the $%2* off about men. She said there is a problem with men today and something really needs to be done about it. The fact that they don’t follow through. They promise to call, they’re flaky, they ask you out at the last minute. They don’t respect people’s schedules. They don’t really have any manners. They don't court women anymore. She wanted to know what were we going to do about this?

Good question Patti. You are the matchmaker--what are we going to do? Blogosphere?

Career Crisis

2009-04-27T13:05:00.004-04:00

Can I be honest? I'm not happy go lucky these days. Oh, can you tell? Do you want to know why? I'm having a career crisis! I'm 39.11 (lol) and I don't know what the heck I want to do when I grow up! I have way too much education (and student loans) to be like this. You would think that after that MBA I would have figured it out. NOPE! Once I got it (1999) and became a high-paid corporate consultant I was like what the hell!? Is this what I signed up for? Hated it. (huge sighhhh) I moved on after a few years and have been moving on ever since trying to find my niche.

What do I really want to do? Don't know. Some days I think I do. Some days I don't know. I'm a crazy ass Gemini who loves the 60s. I've been like this for a good decade (Yes, I know. Pretty sad. I had you fooled didn't I?) so it isn't anything new, but since I'm turning 40 I just can't go on doing something I hate. I'm miserable. What do I do? Not to mention the economy sucks...I'm not even going to get started on that one or else you might see me jump right from this page. lol

Much like the cartoon I used to think I could have it all and be anything I wanted, but now I've realized that sure I can have it all just not at the same time. Sure, I can be anything I want...just as long as I choose right the first time or can afford to pay for past lessons learned.

Ok, no bitching tomorrow...only after you solve my career crisis. What the hell do I do when I grow up?????

It Just One of Those Weeks!

2009-04-21T18:50:00.005-04:00

I couldn't find a larger image but I think you get the point. It's been a pretty stinky week...weeks since my return from St. Thomas. That damn Chinese horoscope is a fluke, I want my money back! Oh, that's right it was free. No wonder...sighhhhhhh. Would someone send me a crop of four leaf clovers, a rabbit's foot, a magic lamp, a special potion or my own little Leprechaun? I'm desperate! No, really I am.

Texting...Just Pick-up the Phone!

2009-04-20T12:50:00.006-04:00

I don't know about you but as much as I hate to admit it, I've succumbed to texting like a teenager (too bad I don't have the metabolism to match). In conferences when I'm bored, last night at a pageant, at the grocery store, in the doctor's office, in the airport, on my couch...I've even been know to text while in the bathroom (not my finest moment). I'm a grown woman for goodness sakes when does it end? I'll tell you when. In courtship. I can't stand a man substituting texting for actual conversations.

Excuse me. Telephone. Dial. Speak.

All of this technology has made everyone so lazy and if dating (at 39.10) wasn't hard enough, I have to fight to get an actual telephone call. What is wrong with that picture? My girlfriends and I often talk about how frustrating the texts are and we try to decipher what the heck the texts meant. More often than not, we end up giving them the boot via text since that is what they understand or not since they never return texts or pickup the phone anyway. I guess we just weren't "sexty" enough. Apparently understanding the meaning of texts poses a common problem for woman so much so that Cosmo has written an article about texting with a man. The article was not only comical but provided a little insight for me, so I thought I would share for with the other single women baffled by men texting instead of picking up the phone.

The 3 Text Messages Women Overanalyze

By Sammy Davis
We get a short text message from someone we're into, and then immediately show it to our friends for analysis. Then we read it again — and again, and again, and again — to pore over the time it was sent, the choice of words, and any other hidden signs of meaning. For many of us, the text message is the easiest way to communicate, but can be the most difficult to understand. Yet, despite the complex layers you swear you’re reading between the lines of your tiny cell phone screen, most texts are more straightforward than your heart may mistakenly believe.
Think of it this way: Would a modern-day Romeo have texted Juliet instead of wooing her in person? Perhaps. But then Juliet would have spent 15 minutes analyzing his electronic poetry, and they may never have become star-crossed lovers.

The members of Cosmo Confidential — Cosmopolitan's online Q&A community for dating, sex, and relationship advice — have seen the good, bad and ugly of text messages. Here’s three up for their analysis — and your reply.
TXT MSG #1
(Sent Saturday, 1:03 a.m.) "Hey, are you out tonight?"
What You Think It Means: “He’s been thinking about me all night. He must really like me, but is too scared to call.”
What It Really Means: Misssongstress offered her interpretation. “He’s at the bar with his friends,” she said. “After a few drinks, they’re bored of one another, the game, the atmosphere, whatever. So man takes phone out of pocket, and man seeks woman via text message. And, honey, that woman just happens to be you.”
How You Respond: If you’re just as buzzed — or if you think said man is truly into you and you have evidence to confirm it — reply back appropriately. “I’m out at [insert bar name here.] You should swing by!”
If he doesn’t reply that night, don’t text him again. And whatever you do: Don’t send him a follow-up text the next day. He chose to text while drinking, and you chose to reply. If the conversation stops there, the text message wasn’t worth analyzing in the first place.
“After a night out at the bar, I have the terrible habit of texting every girl I’ve ever had romantic relations with,” confessed Rodeofella847. “I usually send them a ‘Hey, what’s up’ text, and then pass out at home before seeing their reply. The next day, I turn on my cell phone to find the repercussions of my actions — five different women texting me, all asking if I’m OK!”

TXT MSG #2
(Sent Tuesday, 8:37 p.m.) “Hey, there. How was your day?”
What You Think It Means: “He asked something so sweet and caring that he’s clearly head over heels for me. Now I have to play hard to get! I’ll send a short reply to see if he carries on the conversation.”
What It Really Means: You’ve been on a few dates, but you’re not an item — yet. His check-in texts imply something more. Our thoughts: Yes, he likes you. But head over heels? Too soon to tell.
“If I’m really into her, I’ll text random love notes to her, like ‘Saw something that reminded me of you,’ or ‘Hope you’re enjoying this weather.’ I won’t ask her questions better suited for a real conversation,” said Laxplyrpsu.
How You Respond: Skip the generic “Good, how was yours?” reply. And whatever you do, don’t play games. Flirt back, and in between emoticons, ask him to call you later. If he’s smart, he will. Maybe not at that very moment, but later on that evening. If he doesn’t call, you have every right to pick up the phone and dial.
Our suggestion: "Hey! My day is good, but it’d be even better if you gave me a call later [insert smiley face here]."
“Don’t try to act disinterested by giving short replies. He’s probably texting you first because he’s too shy to call,” said Sugarsailor349. “Give him reason to pick up the phone, and you’ll both win.”

TXT MSG #3
(Sent Sunday, 12:19 p.m.) “Hey, did you get home OK?”
What You Think It Means: “I have absolutely no idea. I just slept with the guy, and when we woke up, he seemed to want the bed to himself, so I just left. I’m still not sure what to make of that, either.”
What It Really Means: So you had a one-night stand with this guy, and in the morning, you bounced without so much as a goodbye. Clearly, he wants to make sure you got home safe. Good. Whether he kicked you out or not is up to your own interpretation, but realize that assuming the worst could be writing off a potentially good thing.
“There’s a reason why so much uncertainty surrounds a one-night stand. Because it happens in the dead of night!” said Jackiewhite18. “Women leave because we mistakenly figure the guy doesn’t want us around past sunrise.”
She’s right. If one of you just picked up and left at dawn, then we applaud him for being the first to reconnect. A low-key text is the best way to do that.
How You Respond: Still think you want to see him again? Then we suggest: “Yup, thanks! Had a really great time last night! Sorry I left, but I had to be somewhere early. Can we catch up soon so I can make up for it?”
Thank him, give a reason for your quick departure, and then ask when you can see him again. If he’s interested, he’ll take the hint and run with it.
Who knows, a post-hookup text could be the start of something good — just ask Hulugirl55, who didn’t wait for her guy to make the first contact after the awkward morning-after.
“When people ask how I met my boyfriend, I can’t help but blush. We met at a party, one thing led to another, and I woke up in his bed. Later that day, I sent him a text joking about the night before. His reply, ‘Let’s do it again!’ We’ve been together ever since,” she said.

Are you getting texts from men? How do you feel about all of this texting especially in dating?

In The Dating Trenches

2009-04-17T06:13:00.007-04:00

Wednesday I had two dates, one at 5:00 and one at 8:30. Both were interesting and since we get so much enjoyment out of my dating life, I thought I would share (although I have missed telling you about a few).

So, I met this guy who worked in DC but lived in MD and caught the train into the city for work. His suggestion for our first date was that I drive 40 minutes to where he lived so he could take me to Olive Garden. Hmmmm. No thanks. I’m not a chain restaurant type of a woman and certainly not traveling 40 minutes for a first date. I believe that was a date I went to when I was like 25 not 39. As one of my male friends said: FLAG. As he tried to convince me to drive 40 minutes for Olive Garden, I suggested we meet the next day in the city.

The next day it was raining, so I drove past his job and picked him up so we could find a restaurant around his job. He suggested the Channel Inn (a 2-3? star hotel). I said “REALLY? Channel Inn? No, Way! Old Guys (acting like playas, with their mistresses) go there.” He said "only on Thursdays." I told him emphatically NO. He said "fine we can go anyplace you want to go." Great. Let’s go to the lobby bar in the Mandarin (a 5 star hotel). I pull up and you can only valet and he says, “Oh, you are rolling like that?” I just look at him and get out of the car. I have a friend who is a sales manager there so I call him to come save me. He comes and has a drink with us then covers the first round. It takes my dates 10 minutes to ask me if I wanted another drink (remember he didn’t pay for the first round) then 10 more minutes to see if I wanted an appetizer. At 7:00 I say, I have to go pick up my friend. As we are leaving we both have to go to the restroom but remember my car is in valet. He hasn’t yet said "let me get your car for you." Well, I do what any self-respecting woman would do and give him my valet ticket and say "please get my car while I am in the restroom." He looks at me like I am crazy but gets my car. That’s what he gets for trying to take me to Olive Garden and Channel Inn… As Steve Harvey says in his new book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, "Men respect standards: get some and men will rise to the occasion if they are interested in you."

Moving on to the next date. It was a quick meet and greet because I couldn’t take much more after the other guy so it was Starbucks. The guy was very attractive and had the body of a 22 year old and unfortunately a brain to match. He was pretty immature and I didn’t get the idea he was that bright. I left the old soul for the I don’t want to grow up kid. ARGHHHH. Don’t get me wrong, they were both “nice” guys but alas not for me.

Next!

Have a great weekend!

Yummie for my Tummie

2009-04-14T19:40:00.006-04:00

No matter how much I exercise (ok I'm not really doing it that much), my middle seems to be the bane of my existence. I haven't had kids, but those terrible surgeries (myomectomy and hysterectomy) left my once flat stomach looking like a fallen souffle. UGH. Occasionally, I think about a tummy tuck and lipo, but then I think about clothes and a remodeling my home (bathroom, kitchen, etc.)...a dream deferred. So, instead I just buy Spanx and clothes that accentuate the positive. However, I'm always on the lookout for something to help with my challenge area, especially since I haven't gotten to the gym as much as I would like or started martial arts yet...enter Yummie Tummie.

They have tanks, t-shirts (long and short) and slips which have a secret midsection panel that smoothes and shapes your middle, eliminating approximately five pounds off your appearance. They even have a built in shelf bra (I'm wondering if the shelf is big enough for what I'm carrying but that is a different story). That is just what the doctor ordered! Now I only need to loose 5 pounds instead of 10!

Disclaimer: I haven't purchased one yet because they are kind of pricey ($62-$82 for t-shirts up to $132 for slips), but I do intend to get one. I'll let you know how it works out when I do.

Has anyone tried Yummie Tummie yet? Do you have any other slimming apparel to recommend?

The Thing About Turning 40...

2009-04-14T16:51:00.007-04:00

This is kind of like the thing you love about your husband/man/significant other is the same thing that drives you crazy about them.

Linda Hogan, I'm a Little Concerned

2009-04-13T11:00:00.000-04:00

Is it just me or is there something seriously wrong with 50 year old Linda Hogan dating a pimply faced 19 year old Charlie Hill? Oh and he used to be her son's best friend. That just seems like statutory rape to me. What the heck can a 19 year old do or know for that matter besides mow my lawn and run a few errands. He can't even by me a chocolate martini. Does he even know what or where my g-spot is? I'm all for youth but give me a man who is at least seasoned, and had a few more years with Clearasil, you know like 23 or something. LOL

SIGHHHHHHH

Head hanging low and shaking side to side.

Sexual Fluidity

2009-04-12T12:55:00.008-04:00

As women, it is said we reach our sexual prime in our 40s, yet something else is also happening that hasn’t been talked about much until recently, this notion of love being blind (as in gender) or sexual fluidity. Two weeks ago Oprah had a show devoted to women who were involved with women or women living without labels. Some had left men for women and some had been in these “fluid” relationships.

One woman stated “as women, we get older and there is more push & pull (which allows for flexibility).” This woman had never had a prior relationship with a woman yet ended up mesmerized by Jackie Warner star of the Bravo reality series Work Out. She simply stated that her man was giving her nothing she needed and Jackie gave her everything and filled every void…she took her breathe away and so the relationship began. They are no longer together; she now has a boyfriend of over a year that knows all about her relationship with Jackie. Then there was Comedian Carol Leifer who said “when I turned 40 I had a last desire to tick off my mother, I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman.” She has been with Lori for 12 years now.

In Lisa Diamond’s book, Sexual Fluidity, she discusses the issue of sexual fluidity much more but mentions it's not necessarily that more women than men are likely to be involved with both genders, it has more to do with the fact that women have a greater capacity to respond erotically, under certain circumstances and to particular individuals -- in ways that might be directly inconsistent with their sexual orientation (i.e., lesbian women periodically becoming attracted to men, and heterosexual women periodically becoming attracted to women). So at any one point in time, they might not -- in fact -- be attracted to both genders, but they have more of a capacity for fluid attractions over the life course. Certainly, differences in the way that women and men are socialized with regard to their sexuality play a role.

If anyone out there ever went to an all girl college and acted on their same sex attraction with another girl for a period of time then married a man that is an example of fluidity. In my understanding fluidity is more than experimentation, it is part of who you are at that point in time.

I haven't read the book but I do know women who are very in tune with their sexual fluidity (if you will) and those who have changed from preferring men to women and some back to men again. I always chalked it up to being comfortable with themselves or whatever worked for them. I had no idea that there was anything called sexual fluidity. Maybe I'll read the book now. It actually makes sense to me.

What do you think about this notion of Sexual Fluidity? The question is as we get older, as we mature more, find out who we are, likes, dislikes, needs, wants, do we become more fluid? Are we open to being fluid or do we still deny the fluidity that is within? Can one be fluid in a relationship? Do you think women are becoming more sexually fluid because of the lack of quality men or because of the quality of women?

p.s. Yes, this is a day late...you should know better by now!

Running Late

2009-04-10T16:55:00.006-04:00

Sorry I'm sooo late on the post today (dang, another tiny picture). It is written but since it is such an interesting one -- think sex-- I have a re-write to do and no time to do it. Honestly, it won't get posted until tomorrow. I'll do better next week. Let's just call this week my post vacation traumatic syndrome week.

See you tomorrow ~~morning~~ lol...I promise!

Is Sustainable Youth My Fountain of Youth?

2009-04-09T00:14:00.007-04:00

Apologies for no post yesterday. I'm on day 2 of a migraine, it took me all day to write this. See how much I heart thee; even through pain I write for you. Can I get a cookie now? :-)

There is a new, organic, anti-aging company in town -- Sustainable Youth where they believe beauty can and should be achieved from the inside out. Steps are taken both orally and topically to renew and restore your skin’s elasticity and firmness. Their magic ingredient seems to be Alasta™, a propriety blend containing Aloeride®, which research has shown can be a potent immune-stimulatory ingredient (derived from Aloe Vera) that stimulates macrophage activation. (Macrophage function is important for wound healing and collagen production.)

Since I’m trying to stay off of the cutting board as long as possible and am shifting to a more natural lifestyle using only fillers when really needed (both literally and figuratively), I thought I should give the products a try. Yes, it helped they asked me also…semantics. So, over the next 4 weeks I am going to be a real live guinea pig (typical for me anyway). I don’t have wrinkles yet (thanks Mom), but I am getting laugh lines that I would like to see a little less of and one way or another(yes, I did say that), I will. Following is my regimen for the next four weeks:

Elastifirm Supplement Capsules (twice a day)
Revitalizing Serum (morning and evening)
Elasticity Cream (morning and evening)

Wish me luck! Maybe I’ll end up looking like I’m 21 again. Ok, maybe not 21, but let’s see what changes the next 4 weeks Sustainable Youth brings forth.

I'm Back!

2009-04-07T10:48:00.004-04:00

Yes, it’s been a week, but I’m back. Vacation is over. Back to reality. I had a fabulous time. I tried to log on to get my online fix (and catch you guys up) until I found out it was $15.95 a day in addition to my $25 breakfast, $25 lunch, $40 dinner, $10 per drink charge then suddenly my free vacation was not so free (note to self: it's never a free lunch). I had to pass on something so the urge to emerge quickly diverged.

I expected to go on vacation and lie on the beach the entire time and chill but to the contrary. My friend had friends who had friends (did you get that) in St. Thomas so they took us out every night except the first night. Restaurants, bars, beaches, home cooked dinners; we were treated royally or was that like royalty. Blast. I did manage to get a little ~~burn~~ beach time. I was in the sun a little too long and got a little too crispy! I’m very sure the sun was not great for my rageous skin even with all this melanin. After this trip, I’ve decided this is my last tanning session or not wearing SPF 900. When you get darker the lines are way more noticeable (at least to me they are). I could also be more sensitive because I’m getting ready to turn 40; nevertheless I’m done cooking. I know, save the comments about cancer and all of that stuff, I rarely did it and I know the ramifications…blah, blah. I’m now going through corrective action…serum, extra moisturizing, exfoliating and apologizing like crazy (to my face of course). I appreciate you, I appreciate you, I appreciate you…forgive me, for I have sinned.

Back to regularly scheduled blogging. I have some pretty good posts coming up.

Two Faces of Renee Z.

2009-03-31T00:01:00.002-04:00

This just goes to prove that even actresses are human and we all can look like America's Next Top Model with a little photoshop. Sorry Renee, I had to do it, we still heart you over at Middle Rageously though and Happy 40th on April 25th!

BTW...don't EVER ask me to post my gym, no lip gloss, mascara or concealer picture...that is just a little too real for this blog.

Aren't we all feeling a little more secure about ourselves right about now?!

On Spring Break

2009-03-30T00:01:00.002-04:00

Guess what? I'm on my way to Spring Break!

What had happened was...

One of my friends called me on Friday and said I needed a break and she had a ticket for me to go to St. Thomas with her on Monday to help her celebrate her birthday. Oh, OK?! I was shocked because I have been especially stressed these days (I'll tell you why one day when I'm not stressed anymore) and because...what a friend! So, because I'm such a friend, I agreed to go. :-)

See what happens when you put ~~pen to paper~~ fingers to keyboard? I'm going on Spring Break!

I'm going to see what else I can conjure up while I'm gone I think there really might be something to this pen to paper mumble jumble after all.

I have a few posts pre-published while I'm gone. Be good and no nasty comments that I can't respond to until I return.

Have a great week!

DC International Film Festival Begins April 16

2009-03-27T07:27:00.001-04:00

The Washington, DC International Film Festival begins April 16th! Can I get a WOOT, WOOT? I'm getting ready to check another goal off of my Rocking 40 List.

Does anyone want to go to the Opening Night Gala with me? How about...can anybody get me a free ticket? Nothing beats a failure but a try! LOL

Happy Friday! Have a Great Weekend.

Our Spring Break

2009-03-26T07:45:00.005-04:00

Remember Spring Break? The excitement of school’s out. The excitement of doing nothing or everything for a week? Why is it when we finished school we got so super serious and left all of our fun behind? I remember my mother telling me “you have plenty of time to be serious,” she forgot to mention it will happen almost immediately upon graduation...On your march, get ready, set, now…serious! No more Spring Break for you! Well, I’m protesting! The only thing I get to do for spring these days is cleaning. I propose we bring back Spring Break!

If you happen to have a week and a few extra dollars to spare, why not take a beach vacation reminiscent of yore except this time luxury abounds. If you only have a few days what about a short flight or road trip? Tickets are super cheap and package/hotel deals are available on sites like Orbitz.com and Travelocity.com. If you only have a day? Take it! A day to do whatever it is you want; rare commodity or blessing.

No cleaning. No kids. No cooking. No cellphone. No laptop. No working. No kidding.

Grab your girlfriend(s) and take a break. Take a Spring Break.

Make an appointment at a spa or plan a spa day at someone's home (kick the family out of the house for the day of course). Eat fabulously. Go shopping. See a movie or theater production. Go to the museum. Go to a lounge or nightclub (let men buy you drinks).

The point is: take a break! Our kids do it and what do they need a break from; we do everything for them. So, Rageous Women, let’s plan a spring break during the month of April. I’m going to work on mine and get back to you. Who is going to join me?

Rocking 40 List Update

2009-03-25T06:45:00.003-04:00

As I approach the end of month 3 (or 2 for my Chinese New Year) of my Rocking 40 List I have accomplished a few things, but I also realize I have so far to go. However, it has not all been for not because through this process I am learning a lot about myself like...I don’t do well being put into a box. Many of those items I first had a monthly or weekly target but I soon realized that was too stressful for something that was supposed to be fun and I don't need any additional stress. Some would call these goals, but I just don’t do well with closed ended goals like these, I’m more of an open-ended person. I see the bigger picture and in Tamiville it always has more than one answer. I could have never been an engineer or mathematician because I always thought there was more than one solution to the problem. I'm just creative like that. Although I don’t do well with "confinement" I realize I do need more structure in Tamiville particularly since my daughter is coming home (relatively) soon, this helps me to tackle them aggressively and give myself a break when I don’t accomplish them. For instance: I gave up the no TV rule. My stress level required the mindless boob tube, but I am cognizant of it now and I am weaning myself off of it.

Following are my other updates:

Getting rid of unwanted clutter (paper) and items in my home. This is a continuous battle. I’m just tired of stuff! I want to lead a simple life full of only things I love, need and have a sentimental value. How do we accumulate so many things? I can't take it!!!!!
Have scheduled and had monthly game parties at my house since February, they are a blast! Number 3 is April 3.
Decided on the book I am going to write and have started working on the proposal and outline. If anyone knows anything about writing a nonfiction book please send me an email. I'm new to this....HELLLPPPP!
Working out is up and down. I don’t do well in times of stress, counter intuitive I know.
Working on an adventure with my best friend…stay tuned!
Have not read one book! I have decided to make it a cumulative total (for the next 18 months) instead.

So…there is the update. How are you coming with your list?

Don't Ask My Age?

2009-03-24T09:12:00.005-04:00

This weekend I went to a birthday gathering for a friend that turned 40 a few weeks ago. It was a gathering of women where we had a great time reminiscing, relating and some refusing to admit they were or soon to be 40. I don’t get it. 40 is a monumental time. A rite of passage; I see it as my personal time to leave the BS behind, my private New Year or New Life. They should all be celebrating and dancing in the street as far as I am concerned. Instead, I have seen them lie about their age or use the line “you never ask a woman how old she is.” Not that it matters, but these were beautiful women who looked like they were 30 and they were sad about turning 40. Beauty definitely cannot bring confidence.

At various points in the night they mentioned how 40 was the new 30 or 20, which I believe we do have it going on these days (40 just isn’t what it used to be), but I was still bothered by the denial and sadness they had at entering this milestone. I mean, as much as I loved my youth…I would not live it again if you paid me. Ok, well, maybe if you paid me a lot of money, I could do the confusion, anxiety, low self-esteem and caring more about what everyone else thinks than about me again. However, I would love to have my metabolism back again, that perfect complexion, beautiful (minus the grays) hair, the ability to stay out late without taking a nap first or to have more than a drink or two and not need a day to recover…now that would be awesome!

I think Oprah sums it up best on turning 40:

“Before I turned 40, I used to always worry about what everybody thought about everything…but, at 40, you see with crystal clarity.”

I don’t know about the other women at the party but I’m not denying or lying about being 40. Go ahead ask me, ask me how old I am, I bet I'll tell you (some other stuff I might not)! I’m as happy as pigs in mud (that’s for you Tracy, lol). It is said at 40 you get clear and I must admit that each day I’m clearer as to my path and my life. 40 is great for me!

How is 40 for you? How do your friends feel about turning 40? If you aren’t 40 yet how do you feel about the milestone?

Dara Torres on April Cover of MORE Magazine

2009-03-23T13:00:00.003-04:00

Ladies, Middle Rageously is becoming one of the go to blogs for Rageous women. Who would’a thunk it? That just goes to prove if you ~~put together respected content~~ , ~~talk enough~~ don't shut up people start to listen. Last week I received an email about the preview cover for MORE Magazine with Dara Torres where she will talk candidly about her self-image, drugs in sports and more in advance of the release of her memoir Age Is Just a Number. Since I was late checking my email (note to self: check email daily, you’re popular now...lol) it’s not really a preview since the magazine is on the shelf tomorrow (March 24) but never the less, here are a few excerpts from one my favorite Rageous women…now go buy the magazine!

New York, NY – When Dara Torres speaks, an allusion to swimming is never far away. “I’m still testing the waters to see what my limits are,” the perpetual comeback queen Torres tells More about why, instead of hanging up her goggles after winning three silver medals at the Beijing Olympics, she is now training for the world championships in Rome this coming July. In the April issue, on newsstands March 24, Torres speaks candidly about her self-image, drugs in sports and more in advance of the release of her memoir Age Is Just a Number.

About being accused of taking performance enhancement drugs: “It’s the most hurtful thing. I was angry when journalists would ask to interview me and do stories that were drug-related, saying, ‘I wanted to believe Dara.’ I have a daughter who is one day going to read all this stuff. I’ve done everything I possibly can to prove that I was clean. I went to the head of the United States anti-doping agency and asked to be tested any way they wanted. They keep the samples for years. How can anyone in their right mind who is cheating decide to go through all that?”   

About the athletes who do use drugs: “What I don’t understand is how these athletes don’t have a conscience.”   

About her eating disorder years: “I had an eating disorder in college, and I went for years restricting myself from specific foods, looking at labels…It was a real dark thing in my life. I don’t think I would have had it if I wasn’t an athlete. I finally went to a doctor, who asked, ‘Do you make yourself throw up?’ And I said, ‘No,’ and then I felt horrible that I’d lied to her. I marched back in and told her the truth. She sent me to a psychiatrist. I threw up less, but it went on. When I decided to try for the 1992 Olympics, I knew I didn’t want to have this problem, so I stopped cold turkey.”  

About being flat chested: “I have no chest; when I go to Victoria’s Secret, I have to ask if they have training bras.”   

About her future Olympics hopes: “You have to take it day by day. I’m not going to put it out of my head until I know what my body can and can’t do.”   

About life after swimming: “I’ve always enjoyed television and being in front a camera, reporting and interviewing.”   

I can't wait to read the article! Hey, maybe since I'm on the go to list now I'll get a copy or two of Dara's Memoirs for my readers as give-aways? I think that is nice, what do you guys think? Hint Hint

MILF REVISITED

2009-03-22T22:53:00.007-04:00

Now we’re talking! I’m an equal opportunity blogger; I take the good with the bad. I don’t expect everyone to like what I have to say and I don’t expect to like everything that is said to me, but I will never erase the comments, they are great fodder:

"I never thought that the Women's Movement was about being as crude as men. Rather, to stand up for yourself and get the equality due you by being a strong, authentic woman. Of course if you'd like to advertise your hormone level and lack of decorum, don't be surprised by the reaction you get from men: You can't call them a pig if you're in the mud too."

Ya think Tracy didn’t like my MILF Post?

Let’s be clear…Middle Rageously is about authenticity in all its forms…be it good or bad. This little blog is a forum for women, entering the Rageous years (the 40s), to be who they are without compromise. It’s where we are finally living for ourselves without fear of failure or of standing in judgment of other people. We are outrageous and are kicking aging in the a$@ while living our lives better than we ever have before because we finally know who we are and aren’t afraid to say it, show it or be it laughing a whole lot along the way.

I don’t purport to be an expert on ~~aging, beauty, men, culture, lifestyles,~~ heck on anything, I’m new to this, but my blog is about as authentic as it gets. And with that authenticity I am allowed the freedom to say what I want including I don’t mind being called a MILF; I wouldn't wear the t-shirt though, that’s a little tacky (lol). Just because I desire to remain a MILF for my significant other or think it will be amusing for my son’s friends to say “wow, is that your mother?” It does not mean my decorum is questionable and it certainly does not advertise my hormone level. Frankly, if I wore a t-shirt that described my hormone level it would not be a pretty sight, so I think my decorum is pretty intact. And by the way, a little dirt never hurt anybody.

Cougar Camp?

2009-03-20T10:11:00.002-04:00

I know I haven't been on my posting game this week. I was on a mid-week date. I'll try to catch up on the posts this weekend though.

Since we were talking about MILFs and Cougars this week I thought I would find a camp to send you on. Yes, really. I found a virtual Cougar Camp for you to attend. LOL I'm not sure who this lady is, but, huh...I had a few laughs, then my stomach got a little queasy and I simply couldn't take it anymore. Since I suffered through it, I figured you should too. See, how much I adore you!

Let me know if you learned anything at camp, I didn't.

Happy Friday!

Cougar

2009-03-18T08:37:00.005-04:00

Now that you know I:

am not really touchy feely (unless you are my man and that doesn't apply to this post)
don’t have very soft feelings
have a tendency to make unpopular choices

And stick and stones…words don’t bother me that much. I have another one for you. How do you feel about the term "COUGAR"?

That term that supposedly defines a woman over 40 pursuing/dating a younger man younger, seemingly making him her prey. Ok, this word bugs me. I don’t like it. It makes the hair stand up on my neck. Why, if I date someone a little younger, is he my prey? Why would it seem as if the woman is taking advantage of the situation? Trust, he is gaining also. He is a big boy. The only thing we say to men in that situation is…nothing! We give them a pat on the back! A high five! However, for women we have a whole new category…cougar. Arghhhh!

What do you think?

MILF

2009-03-17T03:04:00.004-04:00

What’s in a word? M.I.L.F. How do you feel about the word? Mother. I’d. Like. to F$#%. Do you wear it proudly or do you abhor the term? I’m not a mother yet, so I think it’s kind of funny. Plus, my goal is to stay sexy and desirable enough that I hear the term from someone else other than my husband/significant other. Ego? Probably. Now, I’m pretty sure I won’t have one of those MILF t-shirts, but being called a 40-something MILF I probably won’t mind. I pick my battles and this one, not that important.

Did I just set the women’s movement back a few decades?

No Computer Today

2009-03-12T05:41:00.003-04:00

I took my Mac in yesterday to have something minor replaced and the meanies kept it.

I'm sad.

Lonely.

Confused.

Bored.

I have an old, slowwwwwwwwwwwwww PC but using it is like getting all of my teeth pulled one by one. Excruciating!

No post today.

Being a Heathen Is Hard

2009-03-11T05:15:00.003-04:00

It's a good thing I'm not Catholic because I'm sure I would have secured a place in hell by now just from failing Lent promises. I'm trying and He knows your heart right? Let's see:

I'm doing pretty good on not complaining and excuses. If I feel like complaining I just turn off the phone and go sit in front of the TV. Yes, I know...I said I wasn't going to watch TV during the week but I've been a little bummed lately. Hold habits die hard. I'm getting better though. I at least don't watch TV 2-3 days a week so that is progress.
Chocolate. I haven't had any and I really do want it, however it is amazing how your appetite changes when you don't eat certain things.
Meat and seafood. I ate it on one Sunday because Sunday is supposed to be a free day and I felt guilty. I then ate it again this week when I went to a friend's for dinner. I was so busy avoiding chocolate that my brain didn't even acknowledge the chicken in the pasta until I got home. When I got home I was so annoyed. Oh, well...
Prayer. I'm doing better.
Exercising. Well, here's the thing. When I'm bummed out I don't exercise and I've been bummed out. Luckily, I've changed my eating habits and I've lost weight so it's all good but I need to get back to the weights.

The funny thing is I received an email from my church that they just started a 40 day of fasting on Monday. I said, no thanks I'll pass. I'm not rushing to the end of Lent or anything but I will enjoy sushi again.

On a brighter note, I have been successfully dating! Can you believe that? Second and third dates with the same man actually! He even paid for dinner without any coaxing from me and is very, very easy on the eyes.

I love Spring!

What's new with you?

I Never Ever Will

2009-03-10T11:50:00.009-04:00

A few weeks ago I was on the phone talking with one of my girlfriends reminiscing about our days at our alma mater Howard University. It seemed like yesterday when we were hanging out on the “yard”, dancing all night at the Ritz (no longer there) and wearing our little black dresses (I’ll leave it to your imagination what we used to call the dresses) to the club. These days there is no little black dress, it's more like the black wrap dress (to hide the tummy).

As we continued to talk we laughed about the good 'ole days and thought about turning 40. We thought of those things we said in no way would we ever do...like:

• The electric slide (our mothers and their friends love this…they can keep it).
• Wear elastic waistbands in our clothes. Unless it is for workout clothes, elastic really should not be allowed in "street" clothes and called fashion.

On the flip side, now at almost 40, we find ourselves doing these things more:
• Getting dressed to go to the grocery store…somebody is going to notice. Remember when you could just go to the corner and get noticed because you were 21? Now, you have to do your hair, get dressed and put on makeup. But oh, it’s so worth it!
Male stranger: Excuse me, you are simply beautiful!

You: Well, thank you. It's nothing, I wake up like this!

• Not taking a shower before you go out. What the hell, no one is going to look anyway.
• Not buying cheap clothes anymore. My body doth protest too much.
• Knowing drink limits. 40 and drunk? Not a good look.
• Taking a nap before you go out. If you want me out past 12, I need to recharge.
• Choosing…cleavage or legs, one or the other, not both. It’s all about distraction really.
• Getting more compliments from women than men…what is that about?
• Getting plenty of compliments from men; the compliments just come from married men…what is that about?
• Hearing “Yes, Ma’am” and looking around for my mother to see they are talking to me. DAMN!!!!
• Hearing “Miss Tami”. The hair rises on my neck, why can’t I just be Tami? Sighhhhhh.

I know my friend and I are not the only one’s with our own list. What about you?

What do you find yourself doing more now? What are those things that you will never do now that you are 40? Share with the rest of us.

Open Thread

2009-03-09T07:04:00.004-04:00

I've been writing for a couple of months now, learning what I do best and what my ~~thousands of (yea, right)~~ few readers enjoy. While this blog is as much about my evolution it is also about you. It is about us and our wonderful journey to a turning point in our lives...the big 4-0. The rageous years.

With that said, I would like to know what would you like to see more of, less of, none of? I'll do my best to create posts within those requests but you know me...I'll do what I want in the end. :-) Isn't getting older great! You can say and do what you want and not really care what the heck any one else thinks. Ok, ok, ok...I care...a little. SMOOCHES!

P.S. How do you like my new photo? It was from Inauguration weekend.

It's Friday!

2009-03-06T18:20:00.005-05:00

Many hours late I am with nothing to say, because I'm working away! Hey, I made a rhyme!

Man, that's a small picture...note to self: don't post so late so you can find better, larger pictures!

Have a great weekend and let the fun and games resume bright and early Monday morning. Stay out of trouble or for Anonymous (you know who you are) have fun while getting into some. We are 40 now, so who the hell do we have to answer to anyway! ;-)

Yellow No More

2009-03-05T07:16:00.004-05:00

One of my "To Do's" on my Rocking 40 List is to get my teeth whitened. Not only are yellow teeth unattractive, they age you so...change the things you can change and don't worry about the others (you know the exact saying I'm sure).

While I'm readying my purse to part with the $600 my dentist requires I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went to TarJay to look for a short term alternative and came across the Advance White product line from Arm & Hammer. Not only was there a toothpaste (which I had used before with no memorable change) there was now a booster. The booster promised to make your toothpaste work 3x better to get those yellows ~~pearly white~~ a nice shade of tan (well, it said 3 shades).

$3.99 for the Advance White Toothpaste and $5.79 for the Whitening Booster

I've been using the products a couple of times a day (when I'm not too lazy) and I love the combination. My teeth really feel clean when I brush and....drum roll please....

...my teeth are actually brighter! Almost off-white now! YEAH!!!!! I'm still getting them professionally whitened but this will keep me happy until I can stomach that ~~vanity~~ dental bill.

I should have taken a before yellow picture but I didn't. It's a good thing this blog is about being 40 and not a beauty blog because I would fail for sure!

Bottom Line: Great buy!

Has anyone else tried Arm & Hammer? Have you had any good results with another at home whitening product?

O' Pam...

2009-03-04T00:32:00.005-05:00

photo source

Pam, Pam, Pam! I'm speechless. I just don't know what to say right now.

I mean the boobs. foundation. black eyes. tan gone awry.

Can someone help me out?

We Should Be Having Sex

2009-03-03T06:33:00.005-05:00

A recent article in The Guardian -The Joy of Confidence, shows women in their 40s are having the best sex of their lives. Yeah, Baby! I have to hurry up and find a man, ~~boy toy~~ husband so I can really enjoy my 40s. I don’t want all of this hotness to go to waste.

Dating sidebar: a few weeks ago I was on a date and told an extremely crude man I don't intend to be intimate unless we are in an exclusive relationship since my goal is marriage. He told me I'm almost 40, I only have 10 good years left, I need to be F$%^*n' someone! WHATTTTTTT? Sighhhhh.... yeah that date was a wrap. But, you know in my date glory, he called again and tried to take me out and wondered what was wrong? Did I not have a good time? Uhh...NOOOOOOO!

Okay back to the post:

If you are under 40 and not having great sex you have something to look forward to. If you are over 40 and not having great sex one reason the article points out is that you simply may not be interested in your partner any longer. Ooooo, that’s keeping it real, but maybe you can get that spark back to get to great sex again. Maybe you just need to loosen up a little, gain a little more confidence, learn yourself a little more (another topic for another day) or say to hell with convention (this is left to you for your interpretation). Whatever it is, this is your time.

So, go have a little or a lot of sex...just have it. It’s okay, the survey says so.

Are you having better sex in your 40s than you did at any other point in your life?

No More Gray Down There. Yes, There!

2009-03-02T08:32:00.007-05:00

Last Valentine's Day I went to my neighborhood nail salon to get ~~my eyebrows jacked up~~ beautiful and at the counter there were a few boxes of stencils for down there. I chuckled and thought...cute. The woman at the desk told me her boyfriend loved them, but I didn't think another thing about it considering I'm a big fan of Brazil, they are very sexy down there (hee hee). My passport is full. Been visiting Brazil ever since that first little gray in my 20s. That very first piercing scream which resulted in a phone call to my mother hoping for sympathy but all I heard was roaring laughter. I immediately thought, to hell with this, Brazil here I come!

Fast forward to this morning.

I was reading one of my morning blog's (before 8am of course) when it highlighted a product for coloring your vay-jay-jay (thanks Decorno for the fodder). Betty color for the hair down there (the same company as the stencils). From someone that grayed prematurely (10% by age 12, 25% in college, 50% in 20s, now 75%) I thought BRILLIANT! FINALLY! Maybe I can visit another country from time to time instead of Brazil always. I do wonder how the other side lives. However, I quickly realized reading the blog, not everyone appreciated this brilliance. Ahhh....youth. Ok, ok. I know I'm still young (shut up). I'm just fortunate to have so many aging challenges (yeah, whatever). The bright spot to all of this is I still look young. On my knees kissing the ground...thank you!

Despite the haters, I still think Betty is a genius product and many of those women who are hating on the product now will be the same women who want to purchase it in about 10-20. Heck with the way vanity is rising these days, it may be 5-10.

What do you think? Would you try Betty?

BTW...I do know this post is after 8 am and I watched TV on Friday (I'm only human, I'm going to pray now!).

Things I've Learned #2: Less is More

2009-02-27T07:13:00.005-05:00

Clutter free

Zero VOCs

True friends

Family time

A home cooked meal

A good book

A child's laugh

Fresh fruit and vegetables

Thrift/vintage stores

A sunny day

I apologize

I miss you

Thank you

I love you

Yes, less is more. Give me less and less of more and more.

What do you want less of more?

Have a great weekend!

Lost & Found?

2009-02-26T06:32:00.004-05:00

Sometimes even I don't have a lot to say.

How are things in your world?

40 Day Heathen Reprieve

2009-02-25T06:42:00.006-05:00

I do consider myself a Christian, but I've never been one to follow rituals such as kneeled prayer (I believe in praying all day every day) or Lent. However, as I'm sure it has been with many individuals this past year, life is hitting me kind of hard. I'm feeling that I may need some rituals and tradition in my life. It may be just for now or they may become a regular part of my life. I don't know, but I do know I need a change.

On Monday I began with cutting the TV off during the week (I did watch the President last night. How could I not? I heart him and the economy stinks, so I wanted to see what he had to say...that is until I fell asleep). So, today, thanks to my friend Laura, I am going to begin Lent. I've decided that I need to do much more than I am doing and I need to be in a constant prayer (if you will) about things going on in my life. Additionally, a 40 day fast to prepare for my 40th...how apropos. The one thing I have repeatedly said is that I do not want to take all of the baggage, unhappiness, anxiety, drama and just plain 'ole stuff from my 30s with me into my 40s. I want to begin my new decade exuberantly and with more life than I ever had. These 40 days will be in preparation of that. So, what am I going to give up for the next 40 days:

Meat and Fish (straight vegan, meat not difficult, fish that's another story)
Chocolate & Carob (I really wanted cookies today and I was eyeing a chocolate milk)
Alcohol (the little bit I drank gave me migraines anyway)
Complaining (wow, what is that...fake it till you make it saying)
Excuses (kind of goes with complaining doesn't it?)
Blogging (reading and writing between the hours of 8a-6p)
Not Doing a Daily Exercise (I need to do something even if a crunch each day)
Being a Heathen (making sure I study and pray daily)

As my Pastor said on Sunday, when things are going sideways you need to be in constant prayer, all day, every day, asking God for his guidance and direction. My way has not worked. I'm giving up my stuff to be in constant contact with the Big Man upstairs.

Is anyone else giving up anything for Lent?

SJP on Oscar Night

2009-02-24T15:38:00.004-05:00

I didn't watch the Oscars. Could care less, but the comments from the blogosphere forced me to have a look-see at SJP Oscar night garb. Ok. It may not have been her best look. Not very Sex and the City more Wizard of Oz, but some of the comments hurt:

...as many women her age must do - between her ass and her face, and her face has clearly lost the battle.
The dress was too much with the super tight bodice that made her boobs too high and fake-looking.
SJP looks bleh in her "barely mint" gown. It's barely tolerable.
She needs to get back to her Garnier red hair and a softer look. It was harsh last night and didn't look as stunning as she probably wanted to look.

How quickly they fall from grace. I'm glad I'm a nobody.

What do you think?

Week 1: No TV

2009-02-23T07:03:00.004-05:00

I must admit something I am not proud of, I did allude to this a few posts ago though. I've been watching way too much TV on a daily basis. Because I have so many things going on in my life right now that I would love to ignore, I'm using the TV as a crutch to ignore my life. Unfortunately, it isn't working. When I cut off the TV those things are still there. Damn reality! So, this week (M-F) is week 1 of no TV (I have set up my TiVO though). I'm going to use the weeks to:

work on my Rocking 40 List
pre-publish posts (I really want to make sure you have my rants daily)
find guest bloggers (a surprise every now and then is great)
date more (I've gone on 3 dates since the last post 2 were terrible and 1 was pretty good)
update my ipod
paint
garden (food is expensive as you know)
tackle this pile of clothes that need hems, buttons, etc.
sleep 8 hours a night
post items on E-bay & Craigslist
and other important life items

Why have I been in front of the boob tube so much? I have plenty to do!

Anyone else want to join me? Don't be "skeerd"!

My Taste of the High Life

2009-02-20T12:25:00.008-05:00

Last year I went to an event where I met the eyebrow guru - Erwin Gomez. He has this fabulous, gorgeous (and expensive) beauty salon in Georgetown. Ever since then I've been dying to get my eyebrows artistically styled by him. I am a very picky woman (I'm sure this is a shocker). I have yet to find anyone who can "style" my brows to my liking, which usually leaves me quite peeved. So, last year, one redeeming thing an ex did was get me a gift certificate to get my eyebrows styled with Erwin.

This morning I went and I LOVEEEEEEEE my eyebrows (not my eyebrow above)!!!!! They are thick, sexy and beautiful! Yes, eyebrows can be sexy! I said so. But, unfortunately, I will never see Erwin again. You see, a first eyebrow styling with the master is $75 and a follow-up is $50! UMMMM.... Sigggghhhh.. WTH???? WTF??? I do love my eyebrows, but I am a single woman, saving for adoption, in a recessioned (not a word, but it should be) economy. I guess, I will just have to keep these eyebrows up the best I can with my little friend from CVS The Finishing Touch while ~~shaving my moustache~~ reducing my lip hairs.

But I did enjoy the trip back down memory lane to better times this morning where:

People said "May we get you a cup of coffee or tea"
I got to eat all the candy I wanted for free (yes I did at 9:30 in the morning, it was yummy)
Furniture and paneling was made of real wood
Furniture was coordinated
Magazines were current and pages were not torn out
Employees spoke in complete sentences
Yarn was reserved for blankets not hair or hair accessories
Neon green wasn't considered the hot fashion color

Yes, my taste of the high life, with $75 eyebrow styling, this morning was good. It was real good. Oh well, as Soul II Soul said "Back to Life, back to reality."

Have you had any temporary taste(s) of the high life lately that you know you won't get to keep up?

Have a great weekend!